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AM and Carer - I found your posts interesting, because my stbx also has Aspergers, as does his mum. Carer, what you talk about was the hardest thing for me to deal with in the relationship. He would remember things as he perceived them at the time, not what actually happened, whereas I have a verbal memory and I''d remember the actual words that we had exchanged. And this confusing what had actually taken place with how he had interpreted it or felt about it at the time made him appear as if he was making stuff up; he constantly misunderstood me or drew incorrect conclusions about what I was trying to communicate. And this may also have contributed to his badmouthing me to his griends and family and rewriting our relationship history.
The inability to see things from a different perspective becomes very problematic when arguing with someone with Asperger''s!
SS - I think Khan had a point as AM said her ex has the anti-social personality disorder characteristics, and these things can co-exist. As others have said, Asperger''s is a developmental disorder and wouldn''t typically manifest in a manipulative, compulsive lying type of way. Could it be that he has been speculating and others have misunderstood him? Second hand information relies on that person''s interpretation of what he meant, which could be distorted.
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