Sanctions for obstructing contact

Situation: Children are suffering long-term damage as a result of the ex obstructing contact. (This is posted for a friend who has been to court at least 6 times.)
The ex has filed all manner of abuse accusations in court. However, existing Child Arrangements Order clearly specifies access to the kids on alternate weekends and to contact them on the phone weekly. A CAFCASS report has said that there are no issues.
The ex does not take the court order seriously. At pick-up time, frequently no one is at home. Phone call at the appointed time is not answered. Negative things said come back through the mouths of the kids. They can come home from the visit at any time if the ex is phoned.
Refuses to go to mediation or counselling. Court will not put in any sanctions. What options are there? Any bright ideas of how to get the ex to stick to the court order.

I can only tell you what happened to me.

My ex-bf took me to court in 2007 because he claimed he wanted contact with children but then when he got the orders he wanted he never actually went through with the contact. He found a loophole or excuse every single time and this went on until 2013.
I cant find the words for how frustrating it was and his actions proved it was only ever about getting one over on me and not because he wanted to see his children, he just used them for the benefit of his own vindictive agenda.
But equally frustrating was the length of time the courts let this go on unchallenged and the hundreds of thousands he wasted of Legal Aid and got away with it. Courts are good at making these orders but rubbish at enforcing them in my experience.

Anyway my point is I hope you/your friend get the co-operation you want but it''s not guaranteed

If there is no one home at pick up time contact the local Police and report that you are the victim of domestic abuse by your ex.

Insist that you get an occurrence number.

A few visits from the Police may help focus your ex but if not at least you ill have more when you go back to Court.

Probably less you can do about telephone calls are they at specified times? If not vary time, use a different telephone, withhold number etc so there isn''t a pattern.

I don''t understand what this has to do with the police. It is a civil matter not a criminal one. How is it domestic abuse? I would be surprised if the police would be very happy to be involved in this however frustrating and unfair it may be.
I have the opposite problem. I want my ex to see our daughter regularly but he won''t due to commitments to his new girlfriend and her child ( he is not the father of this one). If our daughter doesn''t fit in with his plans he doesn''t want to know. I''d give anything for him to be the father she deserves but unfortunately no one can force him to see her.

Please don''t make false allegations about domestic abuse and involve the police if these are not in fact true. The police resources are stretched and I don''t think they will appreciate being called out. I understand that yes playing dirty may be the only way to get results and when contact with your children is at stake it is very tempting - but it would still be wrong.

How old are the kids?

Trolly Dolly wrote:

I don''t understand what this has to do with the police. It is a civil matter not a criminal one. How is it domestic abuse?.

Like many things it can be both criminal and civil.


Domestic abuse is defined as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to, psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional.

The OP has been emotionally and psychologically abused and if money has been spent in order to travel to allow contact financially abused too.

The law has been recently changed to include 16-18 year olds as previously it only included adults but otherwise has been in place for years.

Family means parents, grand parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and equivalent including in-laws, steps and half relatives.

There are no time limits, once there has been an intimate relationship incidents will fall under the definition of domestic abuse even if separated for years.

If it is reported to the Police they have a duty to investigate and record.

It isn''t playing dirty and there is nothing wrong in reporting a crime no matter what its nature. If it has happened the allegation cannot be false.

There is no need to waste resources and ring it in as an emergency just use 101 and report it.

There are four under the age of 8.