A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Request change of contact order/Breach of order

  • anny
  • anny's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
24 Jan 18 #498996 by anny
Topic started by anny
Hi everyone,
Hope I can get some advice. I have a contact order for my daughter that was drafted more than 5 years ago. It is along story why my husband got the residence and I got the contact. He basically kept her away with lies for a year after this I couldn't get my daughter back more days.
Anyway it has been 5 years and he still doesn't give me access for school holidays and he has breached the order a few times, one of those times has been because she has had a cold and he says that my daughter should stay in her home (my house doesn't classify as her home in his eyes).
I only see her a couple of hours weekly and she stays over every other week. He is not flexible with any of the times or our own holidays and he never gives me the time back. I have got a more flexible work so I want to take him to court to have my daughter over the holidays and remove the order about not taking her out of the country but I will have to represent myself and I'm worry I will end up with less contact after the hearing, can that happen?. In my belief my daughter needs her mother more now that she is approaching teenage years she is nearly 11. He also takes her out of school for minor illnesses, doesn't feed her healthy and doesn't take her out for walks and lets her stay up late all the time.I feel like the bad guy all the time.
What form will I have to submit to make this changes?. Will I need a solicitor? I can't afford one. My ex husband has alienated me from my daughter and I'm very worry about her reaction to all this. Thanks for any of your advice.

  • anny
  • anny's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
08 Feb 18 #499493 by anny
Reply from anny
bump

  • Deborah66
  • Deborah66's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
08 Feb 18 #499501 by Deborah66
Reply from Deborah66
How is the relationship between yourself and daughter when she stays over and sees you? She is 11 years old, so she may say things to you, does she say she wants to spend more time with you, I don't suggest you ask her outright, just wondering what has been said about this and holidays.

The contact sounds limiting and inflexible, when your daughter stays at weekends is it one night or two nights overnight?

Have you approached your ex in writing about your requests and asked for a reply. You could get some help on here how to word an email/letter.

If you don't want to do this, or it does not do the trick, before you could apply to court, you have to go to mediation. You contact your nearest mediation service, make an appointment for a MIAM, it will be assessment appointment with you to decide whether to invite your ex for an individual MIAM and then look to see whether a joint appointment would be appropriate.

I would base your request for additional contact with your daughter and for holiday contact with arguments of how that is in her best interests, I would not start your case off with criticising your ex about food, keeping her up late etc...I would suggest you focus on trying to increase the time your daughter spends with you.

What are your proposals?

If contact has proceeded for 5 years with little interference I can't see how contact could be reduced, other than for good reason which you do not mention.

Best Wishes

  • anny
  • anny's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
10 Feb 18 #499543 by anny
Reply from anny
Hi Deborah,

Thanks for your response. The relationship with my daughter is as good as it can get with only having her 2 nights every other week and 1 5 mind telephone contact and 1.5 hours of seeing her once a week. She did mention about wanting to come over over the holidays but now her father has said not to my request once again saying that I'm the once who is inflexible and that she hates sleeping over. My daughter has changed her mind again saying that she wants to come only during the day now instead of a full week a year. My proposal is just 3 nights every other week and more flexibility during the week if she wants to stay longer or come over if she felt like it any time. And 1 week a year for holidays so nothing major just want her to feel that is not always a tight schedule.
My daughter however has said to come when throwing a tantrum that she doesn't want to come over and hates sleeping over that's why I worry about things.
I have proposed the changes to my ex but he still inflexible and I know that he feeds lies and brain washes my daughter.
I'm going to try mediation so at least I can get the certificate so I can take him to court but like you say I have to focus on how all this changes are for her best interest.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11