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Urgent-Ex failed to return my son after visitatio

  • loli63
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18 Mar 18 #500260 by loli63
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Both have parental responsability. I have a Consent Order that gives me residence and custody and he has visitation.

He is very abusive and I am therefore No Contact with him (11 years now!) only communicate via text but ignoring me.

Boy is 13 and left in a huff saying he is living with his dad as I told him his play station was going back to his dad's and not coming back to this house as he was spending every waking moment on it to the point that he didnt greet me for mother's day because he was on it. It has now turned into an addiction.

There is also an extraordinary amount of bad mouthing and PAS despite an undertaking that he signed and was filed with the courts as such bitter behaviour was having a very detrimental effect on the children. My son is now convinced that I am the devil despite really us having a very good relationship, in fact, today I asked my daughter when was the last time she remembers us arguing and she said "never". Basically, the boy is having a teen age tantrum and his father is taking advantage of it.

I understand that I need to file for an emergency hearing. So I suspect that I need to go the court first thing tomorrow and do that. I self represented in this divorce and plan to do this myself again as I did very well.

Those of you that have experience on this matter can you please tell me what steps i need to take to get my boy back please.

Thank you
Loli

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18 Mar 18 #500261 by WYSPECIAL
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Probably not what you want to hear but sounds like your son has voted with his feet and gone to live with his dad.

Has he got everything he needs for school etc?

He'll probably be back after a couple of weeks. That's teenagers!

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18 Mar 18 #500262 by loli63
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Can a child legally make that decision?

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18 Mar 18 #500263 by Mitchum
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Whilst it's very distressing for you, do you think it's just a teenage strop? They are very attached to their tech devices, so no play station does get them going.

Clearly you're not on good enough terms with Dad to discuss how you can work together to make him see that other stuff is important too. Does he do his homework? Are his grades suffering?

I think you'll find that at 13 he will be considered old enough for his wishes to be taken into consideration by a judge. Would it be wise to let things cool down a bit before rushing off to court?

I think the last thing you would wish to do is to drive him away permanently. Stay calm is my advice and see what happens next.

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18 Mar 18 #500265 by loli63
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The problem is the scale of the smear campaign against me and the fragile state of my son at the moment. I also hold an undertaking from the father where he agrees to not discuss me or my family or finances with the children, which he has broken relentlessly.
So if I was not dealing with a diagnosed Narcissist, I would side with you. But with the history of manipulation and abuse that we have, I need to go back to court right now and have everything enforced as soon as possible before more harm comes to my son.
Yes, his grades have dropped, father is aware of the playstation issue. All he cares is getting out of paying child support which thankfully I'm a high earner and don't need.
For a Narcissist is not what is in the best interest of the child but rather about what he wants right now.
Also, he lives in a very small 2 bedroom flat with his girlfriend (top lady, we like her) and her 19 year old girl. Where is my son sleeping?

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18 Mar 18 #500267 by Mitchum
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loli you must do what you feel is right. If he is in breach of a court order it will be treated seriously by the court.

If you feel urgent action is required then the sooner you see a lawyer the better. Or do you think you son may turn up after school tomorrow as though nothing's changed?

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18 Mar 18 #500269 by loli63
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It's possible, he is a mummys boy but I need to put in firm boundaries with the father who will stoop to any level.

Also I need to enforce the smearing aspect, I have a very confused little boy on my hands. I am all for the children having contact with both parents and have bent over backwards to facilitate this but at this point he has PASed my boy to death and tried the same with my Girl but she has an IQ of 160 and can see through him making the relationship easier. My boy is very impressionable and therefore vulnerable.

Thank you xx

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