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Urgent-Ex failed to return my son after visitatio

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18 Mar 18 #500270 by Mitchum
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You say this has been going on for 11 years, so this impasse has clearly had a massive impact on your son's formative years. Loli with the utmost respect for the situation you're in, he's not a little boy any longer. He's probably very confused at the moment as you've been his rock and now you're laying down parameters of acceptable/unacceptable behaviour to a teenager and he's reacted. He's gone to his father. He thinks that's the easy option. I'm guessing it's just not practical for him to remain there simply because there's no room. He probably wanted to blow off steam and he's possibly regretting it already as I guess he's sofa surfing.

Children are 'addicted' to play station. My 9 year old grandson has only to have the threat and he goes into panic mode. Gets the homework done.

Does he have a mobile phone? Can't you text your son and say 'let's talk'?

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19 Mar 18 #500297 by loli63
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Oh Mitchum, take that thing away from him! Screens are the devil, why do you think that people in silicone valley wont allow their kids I pads!
I dont even have TV in my house.
You may be right about him blowing off steam. If I was a mean person I would just let him be there and enjoy the break. He will soon find out the temper his father has as soon as he doesnt get his way! But as a mother I fear the consequenses for him long term. His father is far from an over achiever and will not be able to guide him carreer wise. The way he treats women is terrible and my boy will learn that this is right. All I can hope is that i have done a good enough job so that his father can't trigger the At Risk traits that I worked so hard to overcome that I saw when he was but 4 years old.
I guess most parents loose a child to life and this may be my one. The other one is in her room building robots for her Arkwright Scholarship.....sigh

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19 Mar 18 #500298 by loli63
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The fathers main motivation for doing this is that he doesnt have to pay child support...wait until he realises that the school trip that is due is £650. That the Ski Clothes he needs for Whisler are £350, he school lunches given his gourme taste in food, his designer clothes. The man has no idea the monster I've created!

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19 Mar 18 #500300 by Mitchum
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Ideally there should be a dialogue by now between you and your ex, just letting you know that your son is safe. No need for it to get into recriminations etc, but I would have expected at least a text to say he arrived and that he's well.

There is another relationship to consider - that of the siblings. How close are they and will they miss each other once the teenage 'my sister/brother's just a pain' passes?

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