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prohibited steps order or child arrangement order

  • redbow
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30 Jun 18 #502530 by redbow
Topic started by redbow
3 kids involved ages 14, 10 & 7. Been divorced a few years, everything amicable, my kids stay over 3-4 nights a week.

My ex lives an erratic lifestyle with different short term 'partners' coming and going which I don't like my children being exposed to.

December 2017 my ex picked up with a druggie who appears to be able to control the ex and this is having a detrimental affect on my kids, for example my 10 year old son is being expelled from school for bullying his peers. The ex thinks its great and has put in an application to schools near to where ex lives. The 14 year old boy is now refusing all contact with me and wont speak to me.

I have done the mediation and got no where but got the paperwork signed.

My question is do I go for an emergency Prohibited Steps Order to stop the school change, I am also worried the ex is going abroad in the summer and not sure if ex and kids will come back. Or do I apply for a Child Arrangement Order on C100 - can that be heard quickly? I want to apply for full custody of the kids as I feel the ex cannot provide a stable environment for the kids. I've made 2 referrals to Family Connect and been told that until something bad happens they wont get involved, so no help there. I am very worried about my childrens safety especially with this druggie around.

Can someone signpost me as to which Order I apply for. I feel I may be able to do it myself, or should I get a family solicitor involved?

  • WYSPECIAL's Avatar
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30 Jun 18 #502536 by WYSPECIAL
Reply from WYSPECIAL
How can you stop the school change?

Your son has been expelled presumably for a pattern of behaviour rather than a single incident.

They have to find him another school to attend.

  • redbow
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01 Jul 18 #502543 by redbow
Reply from redbow
I want to have a say in which school my child attends. It's the ex calling all the shots.

I would like some clear advice, so am going to see a solicitor as this site has gone really slow sad to say.

  • Under60
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01 Jul 18 #502549 by Under60
Reply from Under60
I would have thought that as a parent with parental responsibility you should have a say/ be informed as to what is happening.
How about kick up a fuss at school and ask what is going on as you are being kept in the dark? Explain that you have equal parenting responsibility (If you do) and demand to know why child is being expelled, where child is going to, why is it so far away. Ask the new school to keep you informed and up to date about your child.
As regards to taking up with a druggie, if you think it’s detrimental to your children’s well being, then kick up a fuss there too....social services etc.
If a child aged 14 doesn’t want to see you, have you enquired why? What is the problem? At that age they think for themselves and it is up to you to build a relationship/ be there for them when needed.
Good luck, it sounds like a nightmare.

  • .Sylvia
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02 Jul 18 #502554 by .Sylvia
Reply from .Sylvia
As you have PR, you should be consulted and involved in matters such as which school your child attends. Most schools nowadays insist on both parents signing the paperwork.

What are your objections to to the proposed school? Are there other schools in the area that you think would be st suited to your child and his individual needs?

Your son needs to go to school, if you apply to stop the school move (as you put it), then it may be seen that you are seeking to prevent your child from obtaining an education - esp as he is currently without a school place.

How long has your son been having behavioural difficulties at school? Has it only been since your ex's new partner arrived on the scene?

IF you apply for a CAO for the children to live with you, what contact arrangements would you propose for them to spend time with their mum? It would be difficult to convince a court to order that your 14 yo son lives with you when he is currently refusing to ahve any kind of contact or communication with you. Could you write to him, and offer to take him out for a meal when he feels ready, or to drive him to clubs/activities/his mates houses, or got to a football match or the cinema etc? 14 year olds will want to spend more time with their friends than their parents. Let him know you are available, and are prepared to do the things he would like to do.

An application for CAO is not a quick process, it may take many months for matters to be concluded fully. As there's no current order, could you arrange for your younger son to spend more time with you (say, an extra couple nights a week or so), even if this is a temporary arrangement to help your son with his behavioural difficulties.

Not every situation can be resolved with a court order - often a more pragmatic and hands on approach is required to resolve family difficulties. Have you tried calling Family Lives for some advice?

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