- Posts: 4
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Sylvia thanks for your reply but I am confused that you regard my motion as a means of avoiding CM. Is it not clear from what I have written that the mum herself wants me to do the Monday but WILL NOT ammend the order - how does that not strike you as financial motivation on her part? your motivation is financial too.
Is it not possible that your objectivity may be obscured by your gender? that's a sexist comment, and I take offence at that. How dare you you accuse me of being sexist then do exactly the same to me? I note you have dismissed my advice (based on years of working with separated parents) simply because I'm a woman. Nice....
I earn less than the mum as I am struggling to get back into a good work routine as the past years have not only had it's financial implications on me, but I am working through some depression and no doubt PTSD. as you earn less, then that imbalance needs to be addressed - as a result of the additional Moday night (which is included in your CM to your ex), you are paying twice as you are also providing for your daughter on the Monday night. If you are going via the CMS, then ask for a review - you have the evidence that your child stays that extra night with you
It still appears that the Family Court maintains it's gross inequality in it's view of parents and penalises the man based purely on outmoded traditional, Victorian attitudes. These old judges must just die off so we can be seen as equal. yawn - there's no inequality here, you are much better off than most fathers and some mothers. You are in danger of upsetting a good, working arrangement that your daughter is clearly benefiting from if you peruse this via the Court
In terms of emotional closeness and support, facilitating my child's very expensive extra murals like horse riding and being the only parent who provides clothing, hobbies, travel etc. and I provide the best home I can, I am also being robbed via CM, which only puts money in the mum's pocket. if the activities are too expensive to maintain then you may need to consider alternatives, if you are paying for these voluntarily, then that is your choice - you do not have to fund additional expenses as Cm is a contribution to all a child's day to day living expenses. perhaps Mum could contribute half?
So there you have it, the additional expense of CM which goes to the mum's pocket and does nothing towards my child's life, is added to all that I provide directly, and is secondary to wanting the order to reflect the reality. CM will help pay for housing, heating, food, utilities, clothes, school uniform, shoes, toiletries, hair cuts etc etc - how is that not benefiting your child?
People must wake the F up and dispense of the old notion that fathers are bad and mothers are good. I have never said this - on the contrary, I have long campaigned for equal parenting
Rant over! Good father's being skrood say amen! as are good mothers who have their children taken away, or who are prevented from seeing them by the father
The way it works with us is that I pretty much pay for everything - hair cuts, clothing, school uniforms, additional school expenses like days out, school trips etc. I have found in the past that any goodwill on my part, eg: paying for everything neither helps me with CMS nor does it improve mum's attitude towards co-operation etc.