I am currently in the throes of divorce and have received my nisi. I'm due in court on Monday for my first Fdr hearing. This in itself is a mess.
I'm presently in the FMH with my 3 children.my sons are age 13 and 7 and my daughter is 11 ( she will be 12 in 2 months) My Stbx has moved out and lives on the next road with his elderly father.
The ex is now taking me to court for child contact as he states he needs more meaningful contact.
We do not have an arrangement in place as all three children have stated they do not want to have set days here or there and instead have said they want to live with me in the FMH and see their father whenever they want.
During school time the stbx picks up the boys after school on a Tuesday and Wednesday he brings them hone about 7pm. He then takes our youngest to football training for an hour and a half to 2 hours after school on a Friday. This regularly results in my youngest wanting to stay and sleep over his fathers on that Friday. The youngest again will then spend most if not all day Saturday, again possibly with a Saturday night sleep over and mostly every Sunday with his dad too. My eldest son will also sleep over his father's most Saturday evenings resulting in him also being there regularly on Sundays. As well as being picked up from scouts on a Thursday by his dad (this is usually about 20minutes) My daughter has issues with her dad and at this present time does not see him. However I encourage her frequently to do so, I will not force her.
On the holidays both boys sleep over on a Monday and Tuesday evening and spend all day Tuesday and Wednesday with him. Again the youngest attends football on Fridays, often resulting in a sleepover and regularly spends Saturdays and Sundays there.
I am flexible and do not want to enforce a 3 days here, 3 days there routine and have ensured I have never stopped any children from seeing their father when they want too.
I feel this coming at a time when we are sorting out the finances and could be a plot to have a reduction in maintenance etc.
I am prepared to go to court over this but want to know would an order be put in place for my 2elder children or is the judge likely to take what they want into account given their age and let them stick to the seeing their dad when ever they want too. I realise my youngest is likely to result in some sort of order.
“I feel this could be a plot to have a reduction in maintenance etc.”
It could be? Or it could be a Dad being a good dad, continuing to support his two young sons in period of unsettling times? I really do think it is so so so important and for children to maintain good relationships with their father through divorce. And if you can both carry on being flexible and accommodating to letting the children see each of you as they wish, you will come out the end of this nasty process far more at peace knowing that you still have three happy babies.
Your little girl is still young, hopefully she will resume seeing Dad soon...
And that will be far more comforting than fighting over who sleeps wherefore the sake of CMS.
You will both need to be suitably housed, and if you do have 50:50 care then no CMS BUT at this time, even with the current arrangements, you are still the resident parent.