Thank you all so much for the replies, and the ways you're coping without your children even if there's unfairness in the place we found ourselves, we're all doing our best in difficult circumstances.
And Hatton 1- it sounds as though you've had a really tough time and I wish your children well, it seems that some people fully commit to being a parent and some really don't,
My children fortunately don't realise that their dad chooses to see other women rather than them often saying he's working, but it's less hurtful that way and I wont be telling them the whole truth any time soon. That said he's interested in their well-being and for that I'm grateful.
I'm sure your son and daughter appreciate all you do for them but it must be very hard on you, I hope you're ok.
Yes we are all ok thank you now we are mostly settled. It's been an interesting couple of years / hell on earth but I honestly feel we are out the other side. Luckily it's just made us all very close and just back from a fantastic holiday. I thought it might be difficult but it wasn't at all. Life goes on !! He's the one missing out not us.
I wasn't meaning to make it about me. I'm certain I would find the contact just as hard as everyone else. But I just wanted to reassure that however difficult it is, you are doing the right thing by your children and they will realise that one day.
I sent you a private message about the pension thing too x