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Husband refusing contact

  • jo999
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11 Nov 18 #504803 by jo999
Topic started by jo999
Hi, I'm new here...go easy on me :blush:

Situation is I left the family home in June following years of abuse toward me (not the kids). For various reasons I left the children with their dad and he has made it very difficult for me to see them since. I now live over two hours away due to work so any contact has to be by arrangement. He's treating them like possessions and I'm not recognised by him as their mother.

I've been seeing them for two days a fortnight for the past couple of months. Then he says they're busy with their social life in the run up to Christmas and need to change dates, that's understandable although not altogether acceptable. I've reluctantly agreed because I really don't want them to suffer.

The problem I have is Christmas. He's denying me contact over the Christmas period, owing to arrangements he's made with his family.

I don't want to put the kids in the middle of a decision, but Christmas is a time for family and I'm sure it's fair and proper to share contact during this time. What else can I do other than continue to argue with him?

We've not finalised our separation and my solicitor has advised to keep the kids out of discussions for now, so there's no legal order I can fall back on.

  • .Sylvia
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12 Nov 18 #504813 by .Sylvia
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I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you are having.

The first step would be write to him, setting out a proposal for the holiday arrangements.

Then offer mediation so that you can both discuss the issues in a neutral environment - it may be possible to do shuttle mediation where you are in separate rooms, and the mediator goes between the two of you.

If these are unsuccessful, and the matter is still unresolved, then you may need to consider making an application to court to deal with the contact arrangements. FNF Scotland have lots of useful information and also have a free telephone helpline.

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