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Asking courts for more time with children

  • StunnedDad
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30 Mar 20 #511970 by StunnedDad
Topic started by StunnedDad
Am trying to understand under what circumstances will I (dad) get more time with my own children. They are now 10 & 13 and are pretty independent. The kids can go between the houses/schools by themselves now.

Having asked my ex partner for a more equal split, she is keen to stick to the current arrangements.

I currently have 5 nights in every fortnight and half of all school holidays. I am looking for a more equal time with them. Give my work is more flexible and I am able to spend more time.

I have suscipicions that children have been 'warned' that I may prevent the children from seeing their mother completely. I came to know this when I was asking my children about their thoughts on spending time equally, as we live about a mile away from each other.

What are my chances if I went to court and asked for an equal split. Most parents I am aware of seem to have a 50-50 split. Unlike what i was told 3 years ago in CMO.

Also will I get a reduced time if i did make an application to the courts.

  • rubytuesday
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30 Mar 20 #511975 by rubytuesday
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You already have a shared care arrangement, and it's pretty damn close to 50/50 - if it works then why risk upsetting the apple cart?

From your other posts things are already fractious between you and your ex, so why seek an application that a] won't guarantee additional time and b] will only cause more hostility?

Think about WHY you wish to make an application - is it because you feel that the children don't have enough time with you and would benefit from additional time, or is there another reason?

It's far better to have a working, flexible arrangement in place, even if that means a slight imbalance in the number of nights the children spend with each parent, than something that is set solidly in stone and offers no flexibility and no-one is happy with.

  • StunnedDad
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01 Apr 20 #511981 by StunnedDad
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One of the main reason for more time is I miss my children. I feel I am missing out on their childhood. Before soon they will be teenagers with their own life.

This was something my ex and I had promised each other to do, ie. split children's time equally. Now she has reneged on it. As it was only a verbal promise we made long before we split up.

Children being old enough now should be allowed to choose how and who they spend it with. It seems like my ex is allowed to scare my children into thinking any changes would mean they wont see their mum or see very less of her. This is a form of parent alienation surely.

Its about fairness and what is right for the children, while I understand a verbal promise holds no weight in a court.

  • Bobbinalong
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01 Apr 20 #511985 by Bobbinalong
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Hi, can I just say a couple of things and it may not help you.
Firstly as said you have a good arrangement and please let me say be thankful that you are seeing your kids as much as you are, I had a Consent Order and it has slowly been eroded over the years, to the point, i now dont see my kids and there is not a lot I can do about it.
Definite parent alienation, my ex always hides behind the 'its nothing to do with me, I try to get them to come' phrase when in reality, i know she fuels hostility and creates situations where my kids are biased.
They are becoming teenagers and like yours, their voices will be heard through court.
Your ex will know this and will start actions to make sure that they say what she wants them to say, so make no mistake you will not gain.

I know and feel your pain in missing your kids, but in this instance, go with the flow and your kids will vote with their feet certainly over the next few years, but they are becoming teenagers, they will not want to be around either of you much, they will want to be where has the best internet connection, the least hassle, the most amount of food they need, no more.

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