I have been removed from my children's lives for over a decade. I have had no direct contact other than for one day when my son was 12 I took him out for a day when I found out his mother was leaving him home alone.
Other than that no video calls, no letters and no supervised contact. I had a court order imposed years ago barring all contact and slapping on a section 91 that has long expired.
My children as a result are not overly hostile. They have not witnessed animosity or stress. In many ways my absence has provided calm.
The last time I reached out and took my son out for the day, my ex went straight to court and got non molestation order. No thought at all about how to proceed with contact. She shut down any chance of contact. My son was happy whilst with me and seemed to respond positively. We discussed nothing negative and just exchanged news on what has taken place in our lives.
So with the non molestation order and power of arrest attached long expired and my son turning 15 and legally being allowed out of the home with friends would it be worth approaching him again. I would to prefer the courts at all costs because my ex will just want to embroil me in long legal proceedings again and I have moved on from that.
So what is the legal position of going out for a day with a 15 year old without the courts express approval? Last time it was a non molestation order for 12 months but surely with a 15 year old the courts are going to decide to stop wasting everyones time with enforcing separation?
Your children will be subject to the existing order until they are 18 years old. Any attempt by you to initiate contact with your children will be seen as a breach of that order, so you do need to be careful.
It's true that it is difficult to enforce an order where the child named in it is of a maturity and understanding as to make thier own minds up about contact with the parent. There is a difference between an approach by you, and a chance meeting in a shopping centre or local park - one shows a deliberate breach, the other a chance situation. Do you have any way of contacting your son - social media is often a good way to make contact where other routes have been cut off. You could let him know that you are always there for him, and that while you can't make a specific arrangement to meet, you can let him know that if he wants to, you will do everything you can for that to happen.