A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Mesher order

  • HollyH77
  • HollyH77's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
23 Aug 21 - 24 Aug 21 #517536 by HollyH77
Topic started by HollyH77
Hi everyone
I am so upset and worried. I feel like I’m blocked into a corner because I can’t afford £200 for a solicitor for an hour and I am terrified my children and I are going to lose our home.

Three years ago my ex and I bought this house. I have three children from my first marriage and we had a baby together (they are now 13, 11, 11 and 6). When I met the ex I had my own house. He moved into mine, we had a baby and then bought this house together.

I know it doesn’t matter, but I put the deposit in, £25k. He put in nothing. The marriage didn’t work. I realised fairly quickly that I’d messed up. He moved out August 2018 and has applied for divorce but I am burying my head in the sand because I’m so scared. The reason I’m scared is because when I got this mortgage, I had a decent job and a good credit rating. When the ex and I bought this house, we spent a lot of money on renovation and I ended up with £35k debt (he took his share too). When he left, I couldn’t afford the debt and started a DMP. So my credit rating is now terrible. I have £35k debt and because I have four kids, I work part time as a waitress on minimum wage so I can take them and get them to and from school every day, and this job is very flexible but as you can imagine, no mortgage company would touch me with a barge pole. My family are unable to help as they live 200 miles away and his mother is in her 80s so can’t do school runs.

He wants me to sell so he can get a mortgage with his new partner. But if I sell, there is no way on earth I could find a rental house that would be big enough for me and the kids in this area where they all go to school, and most importantly where they are settled and happy, and even if I did, I would be paying probably twice what I pay on the mortgage. Just FYI, he stopped paying the mortgage when he moved out 3 years ago and I have been responsible for all maintenance and bills.

I would like to apply for a mesher order but he seems to think I’m being incredibly selfish and that I’m unlikely to have it granted if he’s against it. I have barely got the money to afford to live, I am reluctant to start a conversation with a solicitor that’s going to get me no further. Can anyone with any knowledge of this advise if it’s something worth pursuing? I don’t sleep at night worried that my kids are going to be uprooted and we are going to end up in a rental that’s too small that I can’t afford. Thank you.
Last edit: 24 Aug 21 by HollyH77. Reason: Spelling error

  • .Charles
  • .Charles's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
24 Aug 21 #517540 by .Charles
Reply from .Charles
Mesher orders used to be very common but the Court will try to avoid then if possible. However, in some situations they are unavoidable and the welfare of the children will come first.

The children are young and potentially the mesher would run until the youngest leaves full time education or you were to remarry, die or sell the property (although it is possible to 'port' a mesher to another property, though this is not common) - whichever comes first.

In the event of financial proceedings it might be that you would be entitled to a greater share of the matrimonial pot. This might make a sale even less likely as the purpose of the sale would be solely to release your ex's share which might be small enough to warrant a preservation of the status quo.


Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11