Hi really quick briefing- Divorced 4 years, child arrangement order has been in place with me seeing our two children every other weekend. Kids are 17 & 13, 17 yr old wants nothing to do with mum (another story) and mum has signed over child benefit and informed CMS. 13 yr old would now like to reside with me and visit mum every other weekend. 13 had told mum as have I via email (only contact I have with her) She has completely ignored my email and his requests for her to agree this. She is not letting him have the majority of his possessions (clothes, uniform, toys etc) as she paid for them so they are hers not his.
HELP!! What do I do? Where do I turn? Previous mediation has been a complete waste of money and am loathed to drag it into the courts again if possible.
Anyone have any ideas?
As there is an existing court order in place, any change to those arrangements will need to be varied through the Family Court- -either as an agreed change between yourself and your ex, or as an application to vary.
You would still need to attend a mediation MIAM before making the application to vary, and it would be helpful to prepare a parenting plan of your proposed arrangements prior to making the application. Ideally you should send your proposed plan to your former spouse for her to consider, along with an offer to attend mediation in the hope of resolving this via agreement rather than contested court hearings. Having a prepared parenting plan will also help you in mediation - and ultimately with your court application as you will have a very clear proposal for the court to consider.
Unless your 13yo is at risk of harm from Mum, you will need to follow the existing court order until there is a court approved change to the order, otherwise you would be in breach. If he is at risk/potential risk, then you would need to make an emergency application to vary.