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Advice Please

  • barbanegra
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11 years 4 months ago #114552 by barbanegra
Advice Please was created by barbanegra
My ex is openly having a relationship with a bloke, the divorce papers are with the court. We still share the same house. We have a 15 year old son who is aware of his mums affair and is sickened by it. She lies to him when she goes out with b/f, then the next day plays the mother terresa all sweetness. I have to keep my mouth shut for fear of being accused of intimidation. She's trying to get me booted out of the house. My financial disclosure is with my sol. I know theres loads of what if's etc. But basically I've done nothing and she thinks she has the right to all the trappings of home, me pay for everything, her go out with b/f whenever she feels like it, then say to her sol, he is only a companion who is helping me with the stress. What happens when a lightbulb goes? who's going to change that? B/F of course, thats the first time in then it becomes more regular and before you know it, i've been well and truly shafted.
Anybody had any experience of the above?
Cheers,
Barba

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  • Itgetsbetter
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11 years 4 months ago #114562 by Itgetsbetter
Replied by Itgetsbetter on topic Re:Advice Please
Barba

I also have a 15 year old son and a 12 year old daughter When this happened to me, my stbx wanted me to move out. I refused as I worked from home. So she moved out and rented. The children are still here with me most of the time, but the house is on the market. Is this an option for you?

S

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11 years 4 months ago #114586 by barbanegra
Replied by barbanegra on topic Re:Advice Please
Yeah, its an option, but she's playing the card of wanting to \"care\" for our 15 year old son and he wants to stay in the house where his things are and his mates just down the road, so for that reason only it seems i am the weakest link and will be forced out.
Cheers

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11 years 4 months ago #114875 by Itgetsbetter
Replied by Itgetsbetter on topic Re:Advice Please
She can only force you out if there is abuse.....Same goes for you forcing her out.

I would also guess the problem you may have is that your son will be about to do his GCSEs so you will want to try and keep things stable. If it were me I would stay put for now.

All the best

S

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  • Karren
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11 years 4 months ago #114992 by Karren
Replied by Karren on topic Re:Advice Please
I couldn't begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you.
I hope you don't mind me asking but is there any tension??

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11 years 4 months ago #114996 by barbanegra
Replied by barbanegra on topic Re:Advice Please
yeah, Karen, theres loads of tension,,but she's on the happy pills and just rolling along sneaking out, without our son seeing. I've just got to shut up and put up. The other option is leave. I refuse to do this. It can only lead to having a serious impact on our son as he approaches his GCSE exams. She's just off her head, playing mother terresa 1 minute then staying out all day with BF. The moral thing to do is she should leave and accept a buy out from me, but she refuses to do this because theres not enough equity in home for her to buy something of an acceptable standard, so, she wants all the trappings of home, family, friends etc every thing paid for by me, her on benefits, but there's just one thing in the way of this nirvana,,,,,me.
I dont know how the court will see this situation,, all i can do is take advise from my sol.
Cheers,
Barbaa

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