Mobile Phones and Kids

Yesterday the ex visited the kids and wanted to know why the youngest (12) doesn''t have a mobile phone as she can''t talk to him.
I can see no need for him to have a phone yet, he is at school or home or I know where he is.
She can talk to him on the land line or my mobile or his brother''s mobile.
I am expected to buy and pay for a mobile so she can talk to him.
She can always pay for one herself, she will plead poverty but pays no maintenance and runs two mobile accounts herself.

Have you talked to him about this? Is he wanting/asking for a mobile?

When you feel he is ready to have a phone then get him one, then if he wants her number on there he can add it (which am sure he probably will) until then if she wants him to have a phone then she pays for it, keep it clear and simple

James,

I took the view with my children that they didn''t need a mobile until secondary school. This was in part because my kids secondary school is 15 miles from where I live and 20 miles from where ex lives and with extracurricular activities, I could never guarantee that they would be catching the same bus home and would look out for each other.

Now all 3 have them and I find it much easier to contact them directly than trying to get hold of them via the ex-wife.

A £10 O2 phone from a supermarket and a giffgaff sim (£5/month for 100 mins + 100 txts - free calls to other giffgaff like his brother and sister) and my youngest (12) has some independence and traceability - when he remembers to charge the wretched phone and to switch it on that is!

I fought tooth and nail with ex over the ''need'' for the elder 2 to have mobiles before secondary school, but I do agree that it has been useful since they went to secondary school.

Mike

Hi, my ex brought my eldest a mobile phone (he is 10 - year 6).

I was a bit displeased as it is a super duper top of the range one (but then that is my ex all over - whilst pleading poverty).

I would have preferred to wait until he got to secondary school - but hey ho!

It is easier in that the ex generally calls on that now to speak to children and if the children are with ex, I can text my son/call him for things rather than go through my ex. Plus as ex brought it - he is paying for it!!

Survive
x

Mobile phones hmmmm.
It seems these days kids see them as a status symbol, my cricket mates eldest is eight and attends private school, the phone of choice among his class mates is the Iphone 4s so they can "face time" each other, he as others have said does not think he needs a mobile aged eight but the boy was bullied for not having one, nor does it help that he is Indian so lots of comments about call centers, i wonder where kids that age got that from eh!.

If you do get one Mikes suggestion seems very good indeed, steer well away from contract phones at that age, when married the SD got a contract phone and her dad turned up with the first months bill, well over £100, the now ex had a heart attack/stroke/fit.

I agree with the secondary school timing, although ex got them when we split and youngest was year 5. Mine use them as they now have to bus to school and back so if they miss it, they can call me. Also with after school clubs, they can get cancelled last minute and the school tell the kids not the parents:unsure:

Mine have PAYG but the oldest is now on contract due to ALWAYS being out of credit. But she''s a girl and is contantly on the phone texting her mates (year 9).

But I do think it''s personal decision for you - does he want one? would he use it?

GMS

There is no Absolute right or wrong about children having mobile phones, just different parents with different attitudes. Our children didn''t have mobile phones until they were 16 and could pay for them themselves.

The view I took was that it is good for children to learn time management skills by planning ahead and to use their initiative when arrangements went wrong. There was a lot of peer pressure but I don''t think there is any harm in children learning to be different.

If my ex felt strongly that the children should have a mobile I would have compromised my views but I don''t think it would be unreasonable to expect him to pay for something I thought was unnecessary.

I agree with Mike, Giffgaff sims are a good deal. We all have them and our son (who is now 25 and develops apps!) has 250 min a month as well as unlimited internet access and texts for £10.