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  • redwine47
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21 Apr 12 #325516 by redwine47
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What do you do when STBX refuses to speak to regarding child contact arrangements or general issues regarding child, school etc. He does everything through our 12 years old who in turn has to act as a messenger.

I have sent him emails, phoned and txt he very rarely responds to me . My solicitor has written a. number of letters to him also re sorting a parental plan and has suggested a conciliator. There have been a few issues with his contact eg sorting times, leaving child with stranger during the contact or not turning up!

He has not responded to solicitor either. I do not wish to keep asking solicitor as expensive but feel not fair on child that he has to act as a go between and he feels really awkward.

PS This person works with children every day in his employment so shocked at his behaviour..... he abused my older son for many years so deep down I don''t trust him but have never blocked any contact. Just want formal arrangements sorted. Does this need to go through court?

  • Fiona
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21 Apr 12 #325541 by Fiona
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You cannot force your ex to communicate with you. If it will make things better for your son you could apply for a contact order. That means everyone will know where they stand so that communication is minimal and it will be written in stone when you are required to make your son available for contact and conditions can be attached to the order.

However, ordered contact tends to be very inflexible which might not suit your son as he approaches his teens and there is still no guarantee your ex will turn up at the stipulated times. Generally having Parental Responsibility means a parents can delegate child care to who ever they like eg mums leaving children in a creche with "strangers" whilst they go to the gym.

  • redwine47
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21 Apr 12 #325550 by redwine47
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Not left in a creche.. Left overnight in a house he has never been to with adults he did not know and slept on a chair? Father did not appear to next day. He was not asked if he wanted to do this. No matter what anyone says this is not appropriate.

This week my child has urgent home work needing completed he is with his father and I cannot contact either of them. Sent stbx message before he collected child to let him know have heard nothing and he needs to collect his work from home.

This is just one of many scenarios ignored by him doesnt look good re schools impression especially as child resides with me mainly. We don''t have time to do his. Weekend homework. before he goes!

Ps it is also because of child''s changing arrangements we need to make contact at times.

  • perin123
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21 Apr 12 #325579 by perin123
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Hi Redwine

When you find an answer to this, let me know, cos I''m in the same position as you!!!!:angry:

  • redwine47
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22 Apr 12 #325675 by redwine47
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I doubt there is answer!!....? :dry:

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