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  • Emma8485
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05 May 12 #328627 by Emma8485
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I am really at my wits end....

This weekend was the girls with their dad - arrangements is I drop them at school, he collects and drops back Sunday at 4pm.

The girls knew I was going away this weekend and first thing this morning I got a call from the ex, 12 yr old has a rash, dont know how bad, shouts at me for not answering first time (I was driving and had to pull over)

Wouldnt let me speak to our daughter, starts ranting about how dare I go away for the weekend, and I am such an irresponsible mother. I was away becasue my partners new contact order says the first three should be in the daughters locality, and I planned to be with them til 1pm tomorrow - something my girls knew and were fine with - in fact they wanted to come at first!

He then text me saying our eldest was really upset about me being away and that I wasnt there for her, Im her primary carer and she needed me. I left the hotel immediately and drove home, text him to tell him I was on my way.

Got back to find that she is fine, it was a little allergy type thing, and she has gone to a mates for the night - didnt have her mobile turned on, she turned it on ten mins after I got back only to text me and say "Mum Im fine, enjoy the time with xxx and Ill see you tomorrow - love you"

He doesnt think he has done anything wrong - he has now told me that although he lives an hr from me this is the only distance he will accept and that I need to make sure Im never farther away from the kids than that - he isnt repsonsible for them cos they live with me.

So now, I am sat home alone, with a glass of wine thinking what on earth do I do with him now?????

  • mumtoboys
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05 May 12 #328634 by mumtoboys
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is it still against the law to shoot people?

  • redwine47
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05 May 12 #328635 by redwine47
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Take a deep breath. Have a few glasses of wine. Phew!!!!

It sounds like he''s trying to control ur free time. Tell ur children ur away arrangements and If you''re children are old enough they will be able to SORT any problems.

You will know the next time. We cannot always be within x hours away.

IS HE?

  • Emma8485
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05 May 12 #328636 by Emma8485
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He lives an hr away from me, and I was admittedly 2.5 hrs away, but it was such a minor little thing and he really blew it out of propertion!

My girls are 12 and 6 - but my mum lives up the road and he is meant to be their dad not some flaming babysitter! I wouldnt mind but we only have to do the long distance thing for three weekends, this being the second, and then I will permanently be home!

I like MtB suggestion right now - time for another glass I reckon!

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05 May 12 #328645 by redwine47
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Very frustrating. Sounds like he can''t handle the responsibility and he''s gonna have to. You cld hv been away with work, pleaure or wotever.

He is the parent also and has to take it seriously. Hopefully penny will drop with him eventually.

  • maisymoos
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05 May 12 #328649 by maisymoos
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I agree with the other posters. You need a life too. Sounds like he can''t cope with minor child issues and is trying to control you. I am sure you don''t ring him every 5 minutes when they are in your care. He is a fool unto himself! If he wants parental responsibility he needs to show he can handle it.

  • Emma8485
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06 May 12 #328650 by Emma8485
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I think this is the problem actually if I am honest. he doesnt want it - i see so many dads on here fighting for time with their kids, including my own fiance and it makes me so mad!

He has less time with them than i offer and then calls me for every little thing - Ive driven 160 miles today to find she has gone to her friends, I am home alone tonight, and had my partners daughter calling me at bedtime so she could say goodnight cos I had to leave so abruptly!

He has said so many times to me I am their primary carer and I should be on hand whenever they''re with him, plus deal with school , doctors, dentists etc

I really am at my wits end - I have been seperated almost two years from him and yet he still treats me like his wife - he text me last week to pop round and put the heating on cos he is still staying with the kids on the evenings that he has them in the FMH until the finances are sorted out and more fool me maybe for doing it !!!

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