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Child Care Issue

  • James53
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20 Jun 12 #337937 by James53
Topic started by James53
Not divorce related but I hope somebody with a bit of legal know how might comment on the following.
The last couple of weeks I have had big problems with my 15 year old son. At half term school effectively finished and he has been on study leave, only going into school for exams. He has been spending a lot of time at “a friend’s house” supposedly doing revision. Last week this included sleeping over on 3 or 4 nights, only returning at 4.00 pm on Saturday for a coaching lesson. Sunday he went out 10.30 am and spent all day at “friend’s house” then against my wishes slept over again. He would not divulge who the friend was or the address.
A few years earlier I had problems with an association with an extremely manipulative boy who was a friend of his best friend from Junior school. His best friend went to a different secondary school and the other friend went to the same school as my son and latched onto him.
There were many instances that this boy tried my patience and I constantly did my best to split them up. Even after a particularly frustrating telephone conversation and then the phone diverting to voice mail without me realising and I let rip with long tirade of what I thought of this boy followed by a call from his mother he was still like a leech you can''t get rid of. A couple of years ago he coerced my son into helping him steal a bike then with his g/f lied to the school and said my son was the thief. All this was captured on video so the school knew that the other boy had been trying to remove the lock for an hour before my son came out of an after school club and he happened a long at the wrong time.
I drove home the lesson that his so called best friend conspired to stitch him up and hoped that he had learnt his lesson and that the friendship as well and truly over. I never saw the boy again as he knew I would have given him some serious aggravation if he had come any where near me.
On Monday I sounded out the school on trying to find out who he had been hanging out with as I suspected the boy who had stitched him up. My son was far too evasive and he aroused my suspicions. I called the other boys mother and asked her has she seen my son as I was concerned as to where he was and she said she hadn’t seen him. I have to say that this woman makes a chav look respectable.
On the advice of the school I reported him missing to the police. He stayed away Monday and Tuesday night but had been seen around and attended an exam at school yesterday. The police needed to clear him off the missing persons list so were waiting for him at school today as he was taking another exam.
It transpires that he has been staying with the little shit that stitched him up and the mother blatantly lied about not seeing him, she has him staying in her house.
As much as I would like to take the little shit apart I am not inclined to violence but I need to rid myself and my son of these pariahs once and for all.
Given my son is 15 still, 16 next week and he is staying with this boy against my express wishes can I do anything legally by way of some sort or restraining order?
Legal and financial responsibility remains with me but their action is preventing me from taking responsibility.
His choices of what he does post GCSE is also now in the hands of somebody else.
Suggestions, legal, please. Illegal ones if there is no comeback.

  • Fiona
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20 Jun 12 #337944 by Fiona
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What happened to the girlfriend? In practice with a child aged 16 or 17 the authorities will only intervene if the child is in danger or is a victim of crime.

  • fairylandtime
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21 Jun 12 #338215 by fairylandtime
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As much as we hate their "friends" you cannot stop them from seing them & often you find that the more you push the more they will pull.

I say this with experience of my eldest having a very very unsavoury friendship which may have (in some part) attributed to his parents divorce & also only ended when a life threatening act took place against him (unsuccessful & apparently a joke!). So ended the relationship, the only reason it ended.

It is a hard road to travel & I don''t envy you.

Good luck with it JJx

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