My ex emailed me today saying our youngest child told him that my boyfriend was going to kill him (the ex)one day. My boyfriend denies saying this, I''ve told my ex and he says he thinks my boyfriend is emotionally and mentally abusing our son. I think my son has made this up and I can''t believe my boyfriend would say such a thing to my son. Ex says my son tells him that my boyfriend shouts at him all the time and punishes him. (not physically - removing toys, time out etc).. and he wants me to sort it out so our child feels ''safe'' at my home. I am not sure what I am supposed to sort.. My son doesn''t always tell the truth and can be a bit of a whinger.. and I feel he is playing us off against each other. He knows the triggers.
Mathis, i dont think it comes across as a good relationship with the ex at all, it reads quite a bitter and demanding exchange to me. He doesnt seem to be seeking an explanation or quietly discussing the matter, he''s making accusations and telling her to ''sort it''. Not really a good relationship there!!
I agree that this may have been overheard. I know in the heat of the moment things can be said when tensions are running high! It shouldnt happen but given the way the email comes across from the ex there is clearly no love lost.
Confuzzled, have you discussed this with your son? Maybe you just need to reiterate the rules in your home and explain why your partner behaves the way he does re removing toys etc. Children sometimes struggle to accept discipline from third parties and this may be the reason for the accusations he is making. Is it possible that you deal with discipline for a while to try and diffuse the situation?
jslgb - the ex is not making accusations, he is merely repeating what has been said to him. There is a difference, but I have to say that many ex partners would have reacted in a much more extreme way to these kinds of comments from a child so perhaps it is to his credit that he hasn''t?
Children don''t always tell the truth but if the situation were reversed, I am sure that any of us would want our minds putting at rest. The only way to do this, I''m afraid, is to bring it to the attention of the other parent.
I am sure a chat with your son about this will make him see sense.