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residential school trip

  • ethelsmum
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19 Aug 12 #350524 by ethelsmum
Topic started by ethelsmum
I have recently discovered that my 10yr old daughter is going on a residential trip with her school, consent form completed by mother.
My daughter never spends more than 2 nights with me as she can never be parted from her mother for too long and has to speak to mum daily.
I feel that if she is unable to spend extended time with me then this trip is inappropriate. A contact order has recently been put in place and is not due to be reviewed until next year.
Another concern is my daughter wets the bed still and would be sharing a room with 3 other girls, not necessarily her friends.

How do I raise my concerns/objections to the school and her mother in a way that doesn''t make me seem bitter at lack of contact time and in a way that my concerns for my daughter re bedwetting will be taken seriously.

My ex and I are unable to communicate without it turning into a fight.

  • Felixstowe
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19 Aug 12 #350527 by Felixstowe
Reply from Felixstowe
I would have thought your daughters mother would have raised these concerns with the school if bed wetting is that big an issue, on residentials most schools allow children to contact parents daily if that is what they want to do. I know on my daughters residential due to it being fairly local I was also allowed to visit once during the week.

To be honest it does sound a little bitter on your part as she only stays with you for 2 nights so don''t want her to go if you were to raise the issue, look at it this way......if she goes on the residential and has no issue with it then surely the natural outcome would be that she could then stay more nights with you as both of you now know she can do it.

Most schools have a meeting prior to the residential taking place, I would go to that if I was you along with her mum and you can raise any concerns you have then. Ex may not want to fight with you in front of other people.

  • tinkerbell1606
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19 Aug 12 #350531 by tinkerbell1606
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Appreciate how hard it must be only having 2 overnights currently, please don''t let this cloud your judgement. I''m sure your ex would have raised this with your daughter as well as the school.
10 is the age that most children have their 1st residential school trip, I''m sure you wouldn''t want to be the parent who objected or even stopped her going?
It may even end up helping your daughter with the bed wetting problem, who knows? As she grows older she will make her own choices and decisions about how much time she spends with either you or your ex,
Best wishes

  • Forseti
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19 Aug 12 #350534 by Forseti
Reply from Forseti
I think you need to separate the two issues: the residential trip and the limited contact. Confusing them could well make you appear bitter.

Is your daughter really unable to spend more than two nights with you or is this simply a strategy to restrict contact? To me it sounds like the latter, and a pretty poor one at that. I think I would let the trip go and concentrate on increasing contact to a more appropriate level.

Incidentally, I''m slightly confused about your gender. In this post you appear male but in your other posts you appear to be female. If this is a case of two people using the same account it may cause confusion and adversely affect the advice you are given.

  • happyagain
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19 Aug 12 #350535 by happyagain
Reply from happyagain
Contact the school so they aware of the bed wetting, most schools would expect a 10 yr old to be dry and telling them this in advance will ensure your daughter is not embarrassed during the trip. I would also use the opportunity to request that the school request your joint permission for any trips, that way you will not find things out after they have been decided. If you have parental responsibility you have the right to ask that both parents'' permission is obtained, although most schools do not actually do this unless requested.

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