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Does it get any better ??

  • caring soul
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29 Aug 12 #352705 by caring soul
Topic started by caring soul
Hi All

Been divorced 3 years now ex has remarried and sadly his new life seems to have taken over,dont get me wrong my ex still see our kids every other weekend but thats it!

He doesnt seem to want to help out if i need him to have them at all and he doesnt really call them between vistors !

Sadly things have become less amicable and to the point i feel he is dictating to me which i have had to stand up to him and his new wife!

Has anyone had a similar situation does it get easier?? Thank you Caring soul x

  • spooky
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29 Aug 12 #352716 by spooky
Reply from spooky
Yes it does get better, you just have to change your mindset!

You cannot make your ex do any more than he is prepared to do, nor can you expect him to help you out if he doesn''t want to.

It is no good banging your head against a brick wall or hoping that he will change. You need to find your own support network for those times that the kids are with you and have your own life ( and make the most of it) every other weekend.

Trying to force the issue with him will have a knock on effect on the kids.

Do your very best for you and your kids.

I found that the more demanding I was the more they fought against me.

The best you can do is say a firm no if you believe that whatever they say or do is not in the best interests of you and your kids. Once you do this a couple of times you will gain confidence.

Take care x

  • Chained
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31 Aug 12 #353007 by Chained
Reply from Chained
Say yes and then igonre him and do exactly what you want to do.

This is how I handle my ex when he gets too much, even if we are very good friends.

It gets easier when you start breaking *the bond* yourself. I have noticed that even after we broke up we both still and for a long time had the same attitudes and expectations towards each other as to when we were still married. Even after new partners came into the picture.

It takes a loooong time to change these attitudes and there will be some friction, too at times (I once ended up getting hysterical over the phone and told him exactly as things should be... well... let''s just say I ended up saying sorry the very next day and all this in tears) but thin gs will get better.

What helped me and still is, was the realisation that I am now alone with my son whenever I have him and the only person I can rely on is myself and my partner, if he is available, too.

Good luck!!

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