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Taken to court for not encouraging contact?

  • Gloriasurvive
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11 Oct 12 #360531 by Gloriasurvive
Topic started by Gloriasurvive
My X who emotionally abused me then had several affairs has not seen his children 16, 12 for 9 months saying he had stayed away to let things settle as I''d did ask him in first few weeks of break up. During that time I never chased up to say children would see him and he sent occasional text saying he loved and missed them. Neither child wanted to see him particularly and I just kept out of it as i''really really despise him and rather than say lovely things I said nothing. Daughter does not want to see him as he was not involved in her school hobbies or such and recently said he''d scared her as he was verbally volatile. Anyway today he rang me and said that I was breaking the law and have poisoned the kids against him. He is going to take me to court for not "encouraging" youngest to see him. I am shocked that after the little effort he has made, only a few texts, I am to be held accountable. I have said to kids if they want to see him they can. But that is about it. Why is it up to me to make them? Neither had strong relationship with them. I understand the rights of child etc but in my opinion I think his character is dodgy as he is a compulsive liar and once in public in anger grabbed son by neck and lifted him up. He also got drunk a lot and once got into daughters bed while she was asleep which terrified her. There were other occasions things happened but only once out of relationship one can see how awful things are.
So where do I stand? I dont want to be taken to court or have son dragged through it.
Any support greatly needed.

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15 Oct 12 #361018 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
If your husband decides to take you to court I don''t think there is much you can do about it.

Just tell the truth.
I would hope at 12 your son can make his own decisions on whether or not he sees his father and hopefully the courts will take this into consideration.

You should just carry on doing what you are doing supporting your children. Afterall its upto him to make the effort to see them and from what you say you have never prevented this.
PS i''m in the same situation. First court hearing on Friday, expecting a call from CAFCASS today. really not looking forward to court but I have not lied so don''t need to worry about tripping myself up.
Good luck


  • leanng
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15 Oct 12 #361147 by leanng
Reply from leanng
Hi Gloriasirvive

I could have written this post. these men all seem to act the same way.

I had a letter threatening me with court action over contact, stating that my clear dislike of him was rubbing off on the kids.

throughout the separation, i have told them it is up to them if they want to see him.

I sent a lovely letter back to his solicitor stating that i would be more than happy to set up a formal agreement. surprise surprise.... nothing happened. what could a court say if i had offered this to him.

Don''t let his threats worry you.

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