This is a slightly complicated problem. My stbx saved a lot of money in our childrens names, he said we just dont talk about it and he will silently include it in his payout.
I have to go to my sols on Monday and I have no idea what to do about these savings. I am the sort of person that spends two weeks waiting for a traffic fine for going through an amber light, but at the same time I dont want to get my children (adults) into trouble for stuff they know nothing about. I have asked him to explain the situation many times but he now just doesnt answer my requests.
STBX is a very controlling, money obsessed person, so I have struggled to get accurate facts about anything. I have had to rely on information that he has given me.
At my wits end.
If your adult children don't know about the savings accounts then presumably he had some sort of signing rights on them??
If that is the case i.e. The money is under his control and they are not minors then I think it would make sense to include it properly in the pot for division rather than trusting that he will keep his word and share it. I cannot see how your children would get into any trouble for his actions.
If your stbx will not disclose his assets properly, you may well need to take the court route. Questions about these accounts can be raised at first hearing.
He isn't hiding it as such any more from me, but is not happy declaring it for whatever reason. The children do now know about it because I have told them. My sols has already said that the court route is the only way as he is not being forthcoming with a lot of things, but just didn't want to implicate the children.
Just in a turmoil as I know it is going to get very messy and very expensive.
Thanks for advice.
\"he will silently include it in his payout.\"
\"STBX is a very controlling, money obsessed person\"
\"he is not being forthcoming with a lot of things\"
Sounds rather fishy to me!
Do you know how much money there is in these accounts?
If he intends to slip you the money anyway - why not give it to you now?
If he is controlling and money obsessed how can you be sure that he will give you a share of the money once the settlement is all done and dusted, especially if he is not happy with the outcome? Yes court can get messy and costly - but at least you're on a level playing field with a referee.
I have spoken to my eldest, he is very upset about the way his father is behaving. He says he doesnt care about how it effects them, that he would rather I sort it out properly. At least I know I have tried to do my best for them.
Things are slowly unraveling and I am finding all the stupid little ways he is trying to hang on to everything he can.
I am so tired and totally destroyed by how little the person you have loved unconditionally for 32 yrs thinks of you.
I know after Monday there will be no sorting things out between ourselves any more.
Thanks again for all your thoughts.