Hi - my grandson aged 12 mentioned to my son this morning that he may be changing his
. My son has had a shared
order since 2010 but his ex. prefers not to co-parent. No mention of this has been made. The
he attends now is convenient for both parents, the new school would be quite away away from my son. My grandson has lots of friends at his present school. Can the schools be changed without my son's consent. Many thanks to anyone who can advise on this.
The first step would be to establish the facts - your grandson has only said he \"may\" be changing schools. Perhaps your grandson has gotten the wrong end of the stick? Perhaps there is a valid reason why Mum is looking at alternative schools that she's yet to discuss with your son.
Probably best to approach it in a non-confrontal way - ie your son could ask if 12 yr old son is having any problems at
, and if so, what is the best way to look at resolving any issues.
Ex. refuses dialogue with my son. My eldest grandson seems to have been alienated at 15, apparently he 'knows the truth and has made up his own mind'. He did not
his dad about any issues and we have not seen him for twelve months. It has been hard because we looked after him from six months' old. He changed his
at 16 but obviously the shared cared agreement had ended then. My son has no idea of his GCSE results. He just walked out of my son's life, and ours. He went on work experience with his stepfather and never came back to his dads. His telephone number was changed at the same time. My son was totally stunned.
We never expected the our youngest grandson to come as usual the following week but he did. I think he is under a lot of pressure. He has told his dad that he has been tested at school and he is dyslexic, but neither the school nor his ex. informed him of this despite a shared care order. She has told the youngest that it is his choice whether or not he comes to his dads despite the court order as she does not think our youngest gets any benefit when he is with his dad. Now the change of school has come up. It is the same school that our eldest grandson started in September. He has said he doesn't like his present school as they have to many rules and that his dad should not mind if he changes schools if he wants him to be happy.
It has always been difficult with communication unfortunately. Its a pity as is best for the children if parents at least speak occasionally, it is not to be however.
My son is thinking about making an appointment with the school but is not sure whether it would make things worse.
Teading on eggshells all the time not to upset the other party is exhausting and frustrating, especially for you stuck in the middle wanting to do the best for your son and grandsons.
On the face of it, too many
rules seems a strange reason for a move after the first year at high
. Schools have rules. That's a fact he's going to have to get used to whichever school he attends.
We can only speculate what the real reason might be.
Some children find the transition from primary to secondary quite challenging when they leave the 'friendly family' primary ethos and are one of a far larger number of children. It's possible he hasn't adjusted well to the new school environment, resulting in him being disengaged.
He may be being bullied, or finding the work hard and not getting the specialist support he needs for his dyslexia. Giving his mother the benefit of the doubt, she may have discovered that the other school provides better support for pupils with special needs and that's why she may be thinking of a transfer.
I agree it's just a pity the two of them are not communicating about reasons why your grandson is unhappy at his present school.
Going to the school may aggravate an already volatile situation. A polite text or email asking if all is well with his progress at school may prompt his mother to respond.
Hi Mitchem - I have responded to your pm. My son's friend from London, who is a primary
teacher, also suggested an e-mail to the school regarding the dyslexia, so I think that may well be on the cards. No point in e-mailing my ex dil. She does sometimes respond to my texts on trivial matters, checking for clothes and the like, but if any issues come up, as they do occasionally with children, she tends not to respond. Once she has made her mind up, that seems to be the end of the matter. Best wishes x