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I don't have a Child Arrangement Order

  • redbow
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3 years 9 months ago #488571 by redbow
When I divorced post April 2014 new regulations, my solicitor told me my now ex husband has not requested any contact with the children and that I should not waste money going to the Family Court for a Child Arrangement Order as it will be costly and Legal Aid had finished. Additionally, as there is no question about custody or visitation, there was no point in obtaining a CAO.

I told my solicitor that I should obtain his permission to take the children abroad on family holidays. My solicitor said that as the ex has been non compliant with abandoning the children, it will be very costly to go to Family Court if the ex plays the 'victim' and could say he want's visitation just to be difficult. He is a diagnosed sociopath and Maric are involved. My one child has suffered a nervous breakdown due to his violence and is under the care of Chams.

The Family Court ordered him to pay me £1,000 towards the cost of the divorce 2 years ago, to date he has never paid and I cannot afford to throw good money to chase him for it.

The ex is a muslim and I now realise I was used for a British Passport and has had no contact with the children in 4 years, although he still lives locally. He refused to pay CSA so they put a DEO on his wages. This is now transferring over to Child Maintenance and due to the DV that my children and I suffered, they had made it blatantly clear that he has to pay CM directly and should he miss a payment they will place another DEO on his wages.

My solicitor has wrote a letter stating that where there is no dispute between the parents regarding custody/visitation, then you don’t have to do any official paperwork i.e. a CAO as the absent parent does not want visitation and I have sole custody of the children.

Whenever I go abroad with the children I take this letter, however, I have never been challenged about 'where is their father?'. We all have the same surname.

My worry is that we are going to Florida later this year, one child has dual nationality although not with one of the 7 named countries, also she has a British name. The other 2 children do have islamic names on their passports which again worries me with the problems being encountered in the US at the moment. I am lucky that our surname is a British sounding surname.

I cannot afford to play more games by applying to the Family Court for this holiday as it will be never ending. And I can't ask him as out of spite he would never agree to the holiday.

Can anyone advise. Please don't ask me to appeal to his better nature, he does not have one, he is a sociopath and enjoys being a control freak.

My solicitor still says the letter explains everything, I have been in touch with the US Embassy and they said there should not be a problem as it's a family holiday to Disney.

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