A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020
Mon/Fri 9am-8pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-8pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Ex wants me to have full care for limited period

  • HRabbit
  • HRabbit's Avatar Topic Author
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
2 years 5 months ago #500587 by HRabbit
The fmh is sold for the third time. First two collapsed by her. Things have been proceeding this time, until I receive an email saying that she has made an offer on a two bedroom house, that she will need to get planning on to add a third bedroom. She therefore says my youngest daughter(14) will not be able to live with her and will have to come to me full time until the house is ready. She knows my job involves a lot of travel and short notice needs and it is just not possible to do it.. I see it as her latest way to collapse the sale. She can afford a three bedroom house once the FMH is sold.

She is saying if I dont agree it’s mediation and then court. What options do I have? Her ultimate aim is to have the house sale fall through by me saying no, but it is just not possible to say yes. And I need the house sold to get out of rented accommodation after 4 years.

She works part time..

Any advice appreciated.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Under60
  • Under60's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
2 years 5 months ago #500590 by Under60
How about go along with it, just to get the house sold?
Are you able to borrow a grandparent or relative to help you with your daughter?
While she is in your care, you can apply for her child benefit, then tax credits to help pay for childcare.
It sounds like a bluff to me. I can’t see why she would buy a 2 bed when she needs a 3, and lose daughter at the same time!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • HRabbit
  • HRabbit's Avatar Topic Author
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
2 years 5 months ago #500592 by HRabbit
I agree that it starts as a bluff, with the aim to have the house sale fall through when I say no.

It should not be a reason but she will make it so.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • divorced at last
  • divorced at last's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
2 years 5 months ago #500594 by divorced at last
Replied by divorced at last on topic Re:Ex wants me to have full care for limited period
Accept that your daughter can stay with you and reduce child maintenance and/or spousal maintenance accordingly. Make it clear before arrangements start that you will be doing this and it might get her to rethink.

If you do need to work away then your daughter can stay with mum during that time? Or as suggested with grandparents?

Can daughter share with sibling for short term while renovations take place?? Or with mum if sibling is male? Or mum can take the sofa for a few months!

Her housing needs surely would have been taken in to account during the financial proceedings so how she houses herself and the kids should have been settled.

By the sounds of things you need to do all you can to make it third time lucky!!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • HRabbit
  • HRabbit's Avatar Topic Author
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
2 years 5 months ago #500653 by HRabbit
Thank you for your thoughts. It is a complex mix and a long drawn out saga that pains me to recite tbh.

But to answer your last point she received 66k cash in the settlement and will get 190k if the house sells so has minimum 256k plus what she will have been saving over last 4 years from my CMS her part time staff nurse salary and benefits and no mortgage or rent to pay. So she has plenty to buy a 3 bed house cash in this region without a problem.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11