After 20 years of relationship trying to remain optimistic and positive, I ended up depressed and went on counselling on my own (my wife doesn’t trust anybody and always refused to attend a couple counselling with me). I became aware of being in an abusive relationship. My life is entirely controlled by my wife. I have no freedom and home is a scary place with no freedom (constant monitoring). My wife shows many signs (all signs) of a narcissist.
Life with my wife had become unbearable and she recently discovered in my phone that I was secretly in contact with another woman. I finally plucked up courage to escape home.
I am staying in a temporary accommodation (Airbnb) I intend to rent a room.
My income pays for 85% of house expenses. I am still paying for the rent of my flat where my wife and son (4 years old) are living. I will soon start paying additionally a monthly rent for the room where I will stay.
Risk of Child abduction in Japan:
My wife is Japanese and threatened me to take our son to Japan and never come back.
They plan to visit Japanese Grandparents in April (SOON) and tickets were purchased last year.
My in-laws told my wife to come back and stay in Japan.
Japan is a party to the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, but in reality Japanese authorities are not preventing child kidnapping. Many non-Japanese father have lost contact with their children. Only the Japanese mother can grant the right to the foreign father to see his child.
My wife warned me that if I choose to leave her, she will forbid me to see my son ever again and claim child maintenance.
She refused many times to attend any counselling, but now she said she would attend couple counselling only if it is intended to reunite us.
I would need legal advice and support on the actions I must take now to protect my son.
I would like to be able to live free from my wife and share parenting with her (she currently has no intention to cooperate).
Thank you for the support you will be able to provide.
Welcome to Wikivorce, although IM sorry you have a need to be here.
If you consider your wife to be a real flight-risk, in that she is likley to return home to Japan with your child and never return to the UK; then you need to consider applying for a Prohibited Steps Order as soon as possible. A PSO will prevent your wife from taking your child out of the UK unless she has leave (permission) from the court to do so.
She will need your consent to take the child out of the UK - if you don't consent then she *could* apply to court to grant her permission to do this. You would need to counter any application like this by convincing the court that she intends to go and never return, and keep your son with her in Japan.
Where is your son's passport? Could this be lodged with a local solicitor, and only released upon receipt of written consent from both parents, or the appropriate court order?
You must consider action swiftly - it may take a number of weeks to get a hearing for a PSO, although if removal appears to be imminent, you may be able to apply without notice (she would not receive notice of the application, and the hearing would be listed as an emergency hearing.)