House title deeds- my husband and his mother

Hi,

I have written here before but things have moved on. If anyone has any advice to give I will be so grateful. I will try to explain my situation as briefly as possible.
Got married in 2000, had four children together between 2004 and 2012. Husband and I both agreed I''d stay at home to look after the children whilst he worked full time. I gave up my full time job when we had our first child in 2004.
2005- we bought and moved to a house in Hertfordshire. My husband, I and his mother were all on the mortgage. I was still at home, not working, looking after and later home educated our two oldest children. Sometime around 2010 or maybe 2011 my husband''s mother decided to pay off our mortgage totally. I was kept very much in the dark but she put herself and my husband ONLY on the title deeds. I am not mentioned anywhere.
2014- He left me in September. He moved out and left me with our four children but he still paid all house bills. He still does apart from the water bill and phone bill. There is no mortgage as he and his mother own the house outright. I work part time for his company (he is a company director) and he has put me on the lowest wage possible so I get tax credits plus minimum wage and that is how my kids and I survive.
2015- I met a new man. My ex went crazy and says he doesn''t care about the law. If my new partner even steps foot in the house he will be "hospitalised" he says and says in front of my kids that he won''t go to prison because "only stupid people get caught." I feel this is a threat.
My ex also attacked me and slapped me in front of all children a month ago because I asked how much of a percentage he owns of the house. I reported this to the police and also told them about previous unreported physical abuse but begged them not to press charges or arrest him as I believe things will only get worse then.
He has a key to the house, lives a single life, as if he has no responsibilities apart from bill paying, at an address unknown to us and he only turns up when he feels like seeing kids and lets himself in with no notice, day or night. He keeps checking that I haven''t got anybody here with me that he doesn''t approve of. I am not allowed to have friends round for dinner even. He controls me 100% "because it is his house." Today when he turned up and was being verbally abusive towards me I asked him to leave and he said it is his house and I need to "show him the money" and then he''d leave. I didn''t work for ten years so I can''t afford to buy him out and he knows this. I loved working and when I quit I was in the process of starting up my own business as a nail technician. I gave my life up for him.
My main priority now is that my children are ok. We need to move out. We can''t have my ex turning up at any time abusing me in front of them. I don''t want to involve the police and I can''t afford a solicitor.
Shall I just give up, move out and squeeze ourselves into a studio flat that I can afford just to get some peace?
We have lived in this three bedroom house since 2005. I gave birth to our two youngest boys in our kitchen. The house is nearly finished being extended into a four bedroom house with three bathrooms, utility and a study. What on earth should I do? My ex would not have had any of this unless I had looked after our boys at home for over 10 years so that he could work and earn a fortune to pay for all of this. He works 7 days a week. I have full responsibility for our kids. He says that I should pack my things and move out if I am not happy with this but I need to bring my children with me. He doesn''t know their school''s starting and end times and doesn''t even know or care what school our youngest son is starting in September.
Please, please help someone. Anyone? Does anyone know a solicitor who can help me? I can pay but I can''t run up a £50,000 debt. Our house will be worth over £450,000 once the extension is finished but what if my ex''s mother owns 99% and he 1%? That means I''d get 0,5% to use against a house I can move into with my four children? He will not tell me what his share is, he says he doesn''t know and he refuses to find out. I am not doing anything for money. I just need security and somewhere to live with my children, that is all and if I come across as totally desperate it is because I am. He shut the door on me today and broke three of my nails. He has hurt me so unbelievably much I am forever scarred inside and my kids remember most of it too. Bruises heal but the inside never does. I can''t sleep or eat but I don''t care, I just need my children to be ok and they need me. I really am not just feeling sorry for myself. I need straight forward advice from somebody level headed.

Thanks

Involve the police. This man is a physical threat to you.

I am not sure about the house - I didn''t know you could be taken off the deeds without your consent. But you can register your interest with the Land Registry which will prevent your husband selling it without your consent.

Many solicitors give a free half-hour advice session - worth having.

But you need to ensure you are safe first.

If I involve the police he will deny all and say I am a psycho and I can''t risk anyone believing him. I can''t prove anything as when he''s being abusive and I try to record or film he snatches phone off me. His parents are rich and know solicitors. I will lose my kids and everything if I involve the police. But thanks for your reply. I have no family here, they are all in Sweden so I will give up I think. There is noway out.

You can get help and support from an organisation like Women''s Aid.
They may well be able to help you get a non molestation order. They will help you and the children to stay safe.

The police can document incidents and take action as well. If you are subject to documented domestic abuse, you may be able to get legal aid.

I also did not think you could have your name removed from the title deeds without consent. You can check the ownership with the land registry online.

Do also register matrimonial home rights. It is definitely worth at least an initial meeting with a solicitor.

It is also worth checking with the Citizens Advice Bureau to see what benefits you can get if you move out with the children. We would not normally suggest moving out but there are some circumstances under which it is the sensible option.

You are not on your own. There are people who can help. Keep posting for support as well.

Hadenoughnow

Don''t give up and there is always a way out. Listen to the advice from Hadenoughnow... And know that people are here to support you.

Pebble xx

Thank you so much for your replies. He turned up this eve and let himself in and I wasn''t even dressed decently. It feels so degrading that he can just let himself in with no notice and he said: "get used to it, this it how it will be until you buy the house!" I can''t stop crying. He lives his life with his new girlfriend with nobody interfering. I looked after our children and home for ten years so that he could work full time. Where would I have got the money from to buy him out of the house? I am an intelligent woman and had just started my own business up when we had our first son. I sacrificed all for my ex and our kids. I need half of the house whether he owns it with his mother or not. Then I can get a new mortgage for a house big enough to house me and my boys. I will NEVER make myself dependent on anyone ever again, not even my new partner even though I love him to death! To anyone reading and replying with advice, I am so grateful.

Thank you so much for replying to me and for your advice, you''re very kind. hadenoughnow