A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020
Mon/Fri 9am-8pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-8pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Doing the right thing

  • Jimlad
  • Jimlad's Avatar Topic Author
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
3 years 11 months ago #485688 by Jimlad
Doing the right thing was created by Jimlad
Hi all, first post and I can't seem to find anything relevant in the searches but hopefully someone can help me. I'm after some 'moral' advice...!

My relationship broke up last year following years of unhappiness. We're unmarried , own a property as tenants in common with no conditions, and have a 3 year old who I love dearly. The property is now on the market and although I'm entitled to 50% of the proceeds, I'm well aware that my ex earns much less than me and will be looking after my child, so I'm willing to give her more of the proceeds of sale, probably in the region of 60-70%. This will allow her to buy a two bed flat, possibly with a garden. As I earn more, I can probably afford a 3 bed house with my proceeds as a deposit.

At the moment I pay the mortgage, some bills and give her 1.5x the child support I have to under the CMS calculator. Although I don't have to, it'll help her with a mortgage and will go towards my son's quality of life. For all our disagreements, she's a good mum (just a pain in the backside as a partner!). She currently claims tax credits etc as well.

I see my son two days a week and miss him terribly.

My question is: am I being reasonable? Should I pay more or give her more of the house? She seems to think I should and allegedly her 'friends' do too. My friends say I'm being taken for a mug and pay way too much,and that she should work more hours.I know what the legal situation is - I'd be interested to know what people's opinions are... Thanks.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • LittleMrMike
  • LittleMrMike's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
3 years 11 months ago #485690 by LittleMrMike
Replied by LittleMrMike on topic Re:Doing the right thing
Well, it sounds reasonable to me, but if I were advising your partner, I'd suggest she uses the Children Act 1989 s 15 and schedule 1 to try and secure a settlement for the benefit of your child,

You'd need legal advice if she tries this.

As you are not married , if you are tenants in common the presumption would be that you own in equal shares, which can be displaced in some circumstances, notably if one of the joint owners has made contributions to the house, like paying the mortgage or financing improvements.


Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Bubblegum11
  • Bubblegum11's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
3 years 11 months ago #485694 by Bubblegum11
Replied by Bubblegum11 on topic Re:Doing the right thing
Well... I know nothing about what either of your legal rights in this situation would be. But you did say it was moral opinion/advice you were after. So here is mine.

Firstly can I just say having read this post, your attitude and approach is commendable. You obviously have honourable intentions and your child is at the heart of the decisions you make.

Your child is still very young at the age of three so I guess if your partner is working part time this seems reasonable and increasing working hours may not really be an option at the moment. However I would want to make sure that you paying above the CM requirement isn't an incentive for her not to work more hours when your child is in full time education in a couple of years time.

If you are offering a split in equity that is greater than what you are legally required to pay and offering more CM than what is required of you, how can people say you are not being fair?

I think to some extent the outside influences from her friends and family telling her that she should get more and then your friends and family telling you that you're a mug is unhelpful and is probably disturbing what would otherwise result in an amicable agreement.

How much more of the equity would she need to buy a 2 bed house?

Any how, I would say based on the information you have provided, your offer does not seem unreasonable. I hope you are able to reach an amicable solution between the two of you.

Good luck:)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11