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Any advice please

  • MBurt
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3 years 7 months ago #489245 by MBurt
Any advice please was created by MBurt
My wife and I have been through tough times for while and it is now coming to a head. She is sleeping with another man and I have known for a few weeks (the old working late reason but going to another mans house). I have asked her where she has been but lies and will not admit it seeing another man. Even bringing up the subject sparks a massive argument now and she gets extremely aggressive and some times violent, Her 22 year old son from a previous marriage lives in our household too. The other night she said we are over and from now on we are officially separated! (Not official, she just decided).
She has not been home for 2 days and her son seems to be letting her know any of my movements. He does not pay his way now that he has a good job and is using the house as a hotel for him and his girlfriend!
It seems I am now looking after her son while she has moved in with the new boyfriend. The mind games and whole situation is heading me towards a breakdown or worst.

What do I do???
Kick her son out too and change the locks?
Have to live with it?

I will be filing for divorce in the morning.

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  • LittleMrMike
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3 years 7 months ago #489305 by LittleMrMike
Replied by LittleMrMike on topic Re:Any advice please
A preliminary question.

Is the house in joint names, or is it in your name alone ?

LMM

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3 years 7 months ago #489350 by MBurt
Replied by MBurt on topic Re:Any advice please
No, the property is in joint names and no mortgage on it.

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3 years 7 months ago #489357 by LittleMrMike
Replied by LittleMrMike on topic Re:Any advice please
If the property is in joint names your ex has the right to live there, by virtue of her ownership.

As regards your adult son and his girlfriend, their position legally is not strong and they could be evicted by giving reasonable notice, and if they simply do not go, I would advise getting a Court order, to which, in all probability, there would be no defence.

But the snag is, if you are both joint owners, both of you, as I see it, would have to give the notice, and she is unlikely to co-operate.

But sooner or later, when a couple divorce, they can't go on living under the same roof indefinitely. If she has a house and/or is living with another man, then that would suggest you might have the right to stay there, but she will almost certainly have a share in it.

The options are, in summary

1. Outright transfer of the house to you ( not likely )
2. Sale of the property and division of the proceeds ;
3. Order for a deferred sale at some time in the future - again, my
4. She transfers the property to you and you pay her a lump sum as compensation.

You'd need to discuss these options with your solicitor.

LMM

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3 years 7 months ago #489363 by MBurt
Replied by MBurt on topic Re:Any advice please
Thank you. She has come home now and the atmosphere is unbareable. I am considering moving out myself and putting the property on the market. It's looking like a very messy situation.

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3 years 7 months ago #489425 by LittleMrMike
Replied by LittleMrMike on topic Re:Any advice please
It certainly does look messy.

if the property in in joint names, as you say, both of you must concur in a sale and obviously your e2b will not co-operate unless she agrees on who gets what.

It is not easy to advise without knowing a good deal more. The ultimate objective is that both of you, you and your ex, have somewhere to live.

The fact that she is shacked up with a new paramour is relevant to the extent that he presumably can and should contribute to her housing needs if they live together.

There are provisions for what are called occupation orders, which could, in theory, be used to exclude a violent or disruptive occupier.
The burden of proof is quite high, but the powers are there and if you're seeing a solicitor it's something you could mention.

LMM

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