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Seperation Help - Heartbroken Father

  • Iammrt
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2 years 6 months ago #500957 by Iammrt
Seperation Help - Heartbroken Father was created by Iammrt
Hi all

Desperate for help, feel my situation is getting on top of me and Im running out of options

My ex Partner had affair last year, she blamed the fact I was struggling with depression (which was caused by her anyway) and at one point she told me to go kill myself...crazy times I know but after finding out she was having an affair whilst not supporting me through that was enough for me to end the relationship.

I have 3 beautiful girls with her that are 9, 5 and 2....I pride myself on being a great dad. Due to work I said I would leave temporarily and she could live in my house (solely in my name) for a short period until she found a new home. I wanted to throw her out but it would have been heartbreaking for the children so thought that was the best route to go down.

Initially things werent to bad, she carried on seeing the guy she had an affair with, which didnt bother me as my candle went straight out after my ordeal with her and the children were dropped of at my place twice a week and it was fairly settled. However Christmas passed and the 'temporary' part of her staying in the house was getting hard to financially manage as well as my own expenses for the second property. During this period we agreed that I would pay the Mortgage (so she could live rent free) and I would also give her £250 a month for the children. She asked me to right a letter to the council confirming I was selling the house to up her 'priority' status to High. I then contacted an estate agent to confirm a valuation and the house would go up for sale.

This is were is went very wrong, she started telling my kids I was making them homeless, she would regularly call and text me with abuse...telling me I would never see the kids again and that she would trash my house. I offered to give her 15k once the house was sold to help with the move...she could also keep all the furniture (which again is all mine) to make it easier. The children were regularly dropped off but abuse continued, I blocked her number from my phone and gave her my work email for emergencies in regards to the children....unfortunately this continued via work emails and I then got a call from her dead with threats of harm which I reported to the police. In the meantime my daughters were getting upset with what 'mummy' was telling them, my ex even stole my eldest daughters phone and told her that she was going to pretend to be her and then I received texts from what I thought was from my daughter saying she doesnt want to come anymore. My 9 year old broke down in tears in front of me and I was devastated again by my ex's actions.

A week went on (Feb this year) and I received a Solicitors letter saying she wanted 25 grand from the house sale, she had no right to any money so I said 15k and thats it. Letters were toing and froing from the solicitors but we agreed to the original amount of 15k....

The abuse continued still....after a meeting with my solicitor and the police we agreed a monitored email would be the best way forward so that both my parents and hers could make sure she stopped the abuse. This suggestion resulted in a very abusive call from her and email in which she said \"she doesnt want any money\" but I would never see my daughters again.

I sat and waited for my daughters that night, unfortunately they didnt arrive and I was in tears....my number has been blocked from my daughters phone now as well.

3 days later (Last week) I had a call from the CSA saying my ex had gone to them and told them I wont be seeing the children and she wants full payment (£800)...again I was in tears and tried to fight it but because no legal paper had been drawn up about the 2 nights a week they said they couldnt do anything. What was also frightening is they said they wouldnt take my mortgage payments into consideration for the full payment...I find this bizarre and a very odd part of the law.

I'm booked in for mediation next week, I am going to fight for my princesses but affording all this is proving difficult and im falling behind in payments for everything including my mortgage.

Yesterday the estate agent was refused entry into my property to take internal pictures....

Im at my whits end, I miss my girls so much and find it heartbreaking that the law isnt on my side and she can just take them away and use them as a weapon, then live in my house rent free and persue full payment

Any advice and help would be appreciated....scared I'm going to now loose my house on top of my kids and I wanted to put the money from the sale of the house in savings for the kids when they are older

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