A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020
Mon/Fri 9am-8pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-8pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Potential separation enquiry

  • Mr Big
  • Mr Big's Avatar Topic Author
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
More
1 year 1 month ago #509213 by Mr Big
Potential separation enquiry was created by Mr Big
Hello,

I'm wondering if I could please get some advice. I've been with my partner almost four years. We now have a 5 month old daughter. After she was born, the first 3 months were rocky to say the least. We've managed to get back on track but the shock of it all has now made me cautious about our future after seeing how bad it got. We currently live at her moms house, so naturally we both want to get our own place. The dilemma is as I work at a bank, I can get an incredible staff mortgage, but I have until April next year to take the opportunity or leave it. The plan is for me and my partner to go 50/50 on deposit of about £8K - £10K and same for monthly mortgage payments. However, after doing my research, I'm now terrified of doing this incase we break up and I then have to move out, pay half of that mortgage, pay child support and pay for my own place to live! I'm just wondering if I did have a mortgage with my partner, is there any legal agreement I could do to protect me should things go wrong? For example, with a declaration of trust, could I put a clause in it that if we mutually agree to break up, we agree that we have to sell the property unless either one of us could buy the other out? I'm happy to provide for my daughter, but trying to pay all three of those things mentioned would clean me out. Also, would the same apply if we were renting? For example, we rent somewhere for 5 years, break up, we go to court, can a judge ask that I contribute towards the rental payments the same as mortgage payments? Any help appreciated, thanks

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Under60
  • Under60's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
1 year 1 month ago #509214 by Under60
Replied by Under60 on topic Re:Potential separation enquiry
You are very wise to be cautious.
If you have a child you will be responsible for it for 18 years at least.
From what you say it sounds like a non starter, not a happily ever after forever.
If you go down the marriag route yes you will be stuffed.
If you go down the mortgage route it will be the same.
Maybe short term rent? Very little commitment? You can rent on a 6 monthly contract?
Keep separate bank accounts (So you don’t get cleared out).
Personally if it feels this bad already I wouldn’t enter into anything, and just accept the CMS calculator as worse case scenario.
Good luck :)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Mr Big
  • Mr Big's Avatar Topic Author
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
More
1 year 1 month ago #509235 by Mr Big
Replied by Mr Big on topic Re:Potential separation enquiry
Thanks for the advice. So I've got no kind of financial or legal back up to cover myself at all no? A declaration of trust isn't valid to force the sale of a house etc? Just one other question also, I have roughly £60K worth of life savings. In the potential event of me and my partner breaking up (not married), is that money at risk? I.E. she can't try in anyway try and claim any of that money if I declared my savings to the courts etc?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • hadenoughnow
  • hadenoughnow's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
1 year 1 month ago #509237 by hadenoughnow
Replied by hadenoughnow on topic Re:Potential separation enquiry
If you are [url=Resources/Library/Cohabitation-and-Separation_s33_m1852.html ]not married[/url], it is property law that applies. The property belongs to whoever is named on the deeds. A deed of trust may be used to divide shares unequally if you are both named.
As you have a child, housing her is the priority if you break up. This could mean the Children Act is used to allow the child (and main carer) to remain in the property at least until the child is 18.
Your savings are yours. You would have to pay child maintenance based on your income.

Hadenoughnow

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Under60
  • Under60's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
1 year 1 month ago #509238 by Under60
Replied by Under60 on topic Re:Potential separation enquiry
If you remain unmarried, everything you have in your name is yours.
You will only ever end up paying CMS for your child.
If you marry or buy a house together you are stuffed!
You could buy the house in YOUR NAME ONLY, not get married, and then that’s still yours forever.
Basically don’t get married or financially tie yourself to someone else and you will be fine :)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Under60
  • Under60's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
1 year 1 month ago #509239 by Under60
Replied by Under60 on topic Re:Potential separation enquiry
hadenoughnow wrote:

As you have a child, housing her is the priority if you break up. This could mean the Children Act is used to allow the child (and main carer) to remain in the property at least until the child is 18.


Hadenoughnow

Blimey I didn’t know that....ignore what I said then :ohmy:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Mr Big
  • Mr Big's Avatar Topic Author
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
More
1 year 1 month ago #509241 by Mr Big
Replied by Mr Big on topic Re:Potential separation enquiry
Thanks for all helpful replies everybody!

Damn, I can't believe there's literally no document in the UK you can use to protect a man in the event of a break where a child's involved. The UK don't even recognise prenuptial agreements do they?! It's crazy.

I heard about cohabitation agreements as well but I assume they are not legally binding and the courts could still throw me out under the child act if need be then? And I am right in saying that if the courts did throw me out under that clause it's highly likely that I would still need to pay my half of the mortgage? Or is that something that can potentially be argued?

Ok, this is gonna sound devious, but in the eyes of trying to protect myself, let me lastly ask... If we did have a mortgage and me and my partner broke up, is it easy or free for her to take me to court and get me kicked out the house? Or would she need to pay solicitors fees etc.? I know my partner doesn't have much savings.

Sorry for the barrage of questions, I just need to know as much information as possible in planning my future with, or without my partner.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11