I am at my Witt's end and really hope someone can help me. I cannot afford a solicitor so a friend led me to this site.
I have been married to my husband for 30 years. The marriage has always been a rocky one due to numerous affairs and psychological abuse (Him being the adulterer and mental abuser) We have 2 children who are now grown up and have homes of their own. We have been separated but cohabiting for 10 years plus. He has always asked me not to divorce him as he is Roman Catholic and he said it would destroy him (more manipulation) as when I told him that he needed to move out as I felt I couldn't move on with my life, he served me with a divorce petition. He hasn't worked for 18 years and claims DLA. I have paid all the bills since we started cohabitating as I work full time as a health care worker. I purchased our council house 2 years ago so got discount from the council. The house was purchased by me and he had no input what so ever. I paid all legal fees, deposit and I pay the mortgage. For the past 14 months, he has been living in a council property of his own. He has now applied for a financial order and basically wants half the equity in the house £35K plus pension sharing order, pension compensation order, lump sum order and a property adjustment order. He is also lying through his teeth by stating that we cannot go to mediation as he is at risk of Domestic violence abuse, which is unbelievable after all that he has put me through over the years. I also forgot to say, he put a home rights notice on my house while in the process of moving into his council property but I knew nothing of this as he obviously took the letter that came in the post whilst I was at work.
After such a long marriage it is usual that there will be a significant element of sharing in the divorce settlement.
Family law is not clear cut with simple rules that apply to everyone. Instead there are guidelines and principals that are applied to each individual case.
You only really mention the equity in the house - no mention of pensions / savings / other assets - as all assets will be considered.
e.g. your NHS pension if you have one
I suspect that due to the length of the marriage he would be awarded a lump sum and possibly a pension share if your pension provision is better than his.
I wouldn't worry about the lies relating to DV and mediation - they are of no real relevance or consequence. Mediation is voluntary anyway so it can always be avoided if one party chooses to. I suspect the DV statements are just for the purposes of ticking a box on the Form A to enable the case to go to court without prior mediation - this is quite common.
The point is that the case is now in court and you need to deal with that process and represent yourself if you cannot afford a solicitor.
You mention that you cannot afford the thousands that it would cost for a solicitor.
I strongly encourage you to consider our service designed for people in your situation.
Our Help With The Financial Settlement process
service will provide you with much need expert support during the court process. You should be able to get through the complete court process for around £500 to £750. The court process will likely take at least 6 months so we are talking about £100 a month as a budget to get support with producing the necessary court documents and preparing for the hearings.