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  • blonde cazza
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21 Feb 12 #313818 by blonde cazza
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Any advise would be good...i split a year ago i have tried to involve my ex in my sons upbringng to the point where i feel like giving up!..My ex has my son friday 6pm to sunday 9am every wkend...my ex has left my son with his sister before on a sat night and gone out my solicitor pointed out that contact was for him..so he had to look after our son...i found a text on my sons phone which said happy new year to our son but he was supposed to be looking after him that night so it seems he left him again!..Christmas my ex was on his own so i said you can come over but he turned that down and soon im doing a party for our sons 13th invited him to that but once again hes turned it down!...is there any point in a father having contact if they dont clearly want to make an effort to stay in thier sons life and have the contact they pushed for to begin with?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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21 Feb 12 #313822 by MrsMathsisfun
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Who is your ex leaving the son with when he goes out?

Unfortunately you cant make him want to spend time with your son nor can you dictate what he does with your son during his contact time.

What does your son think of the situation, is he happy with the contact with his dad?

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21 Feb 12 #313842 by perin123
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Blonde cazza you seem to have the same dilemma as me. My ex has our son every other weekend (if it suits him) and usually goes out Sat eve leaving son with his gf and her son. I too thought, quality time, etc.. but seems ex just does what he wants and what suits him..... No change there......:woohoo:

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21 Feb 12 #313843 by blonde cazza
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The first time my ex left him with his sister who in the past has taken an overdose in front of him....she has bulliema and thats why my solicitor reminded my ex that its his contact time!
My ex has pushed and pushed for contact time and its seems to be he shows no interst in having him if the friends are calling him.
My son wants to go at weekends but my ex makes life awkward for my son by being like this...my ex hasnt enquired about his schooling or health once since leaving!

  • Emma8485
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21 Feb 12 #313844 by Emma8485
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Please dont take offence but if he has him every weekend, where is your quality time with him? That means you only see him after school?

Going out when you have your kids every other weekend is a habit my ex has developed as well, which is annoying - and I usually try and get him to swap instead but if your ex is having him every weekend therefore cant swap and has only left him once or twice, i dont think thats the same?

People have weddings, special birthdays etc usually on a weekend, and it may be that he couldnt take your son?

Just offering another viewpoint...

xx

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22 Feb 12 #314017 by blonde cazza
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Emma i have my son every sunday as he is re rturned at 9am so thta is my quality time plus i finish work at 2 pm so my son is never alone!.My ex has left him and gone out with his old friends drinking...i would rather him say if he wants to go out and have my child returned early....thats the point im making! xx

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22 Feb 12 #314023 by Deedum
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If your son is nearly 13, I would expect him to say if he is not happy with the situation. Unless he daren''t say anything. He will soon want to be doing things with his mates anyway, so you won''t have this problem for much longer.

It''s funny what you say about his birthday because in the early days of our split I invited my ex to my son''s birthday and he "couldn''t make it". However nearly 4 years on he has tried to make arrangements to see our son the day before his birthday and "son can''t make it as he''s seeing his mates!"

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