parents advise

yes i agree with what you say Deedum...my son doesnt want to say anything as my ex has left him in some very awkward situations one was he told my son is get his suitcase ready two weeks before his holiday last year..i just want to see my child happy and not to be left hurt by the divorce...my ex used to be the perfect dad rarely went out so i dont know him anymore or why he would want to hurt my son by not attending.

I don''t quite understand the issue here. Given the the average 12 or 13 year old can''t be prised off an x box, play station, computer game or Facebook I would have thought your son would welcome an evening without his dad peering over him.
Mine certainly would not put up with me spending every minute with him.

Hello james the issue is quite clear...He requested more then average contact when he seems to be leaving my son with my daughter and going out.My daughter took an overdose when looking after our son not so long ago so if my ex wants to go out drinking i would prefer that he returns our son home!...unfortunatly for me i have an ex who doesnt co parent with me ad if you had ever been in a situation where you were rung at work by an 11 year old to say his sister had taken loads of tablets and hedidt know what to do.....would you ever risk your child being in that situation again?

It would also nice if he did attend his sons brthday parties and did co parent but i cant make that happen

Try not to make what you want to happen re the birthday party into what your son wants. You are probably more upset about his non attendance than your son will be.

I am sure he will be happy having his friends at his party.

How old is your daughter by the way?

Hi Cazza, sorry, the point I was trying to make and didnt do it very well was that if your ex has your son all weekend every weekend, then surely you as a parent are missing out if your son only spends after school time with you?

Sorry if that didnt come across as clearly as I meant it to....

I agree with one of the previous posts in that if your ex is having your son every Friday and Saturday night then that does rather limit his social time and if he has only left him a few times then surely that''s not such a bad thing. At 13 your son is becoming more responsible and independant and if left could call you to go and pick him up. Ultimately it is up to your ex how he spends his contact time and you unfortunately are not in control of that.

I also agree with Emma that after school time is not always necessarily quality time as there is homework, maybe after school activities etc that impact on it.

Are you in a position to propose different evenings for contact where it is less likely that he will go out, or alternate weekends (therefore giving you a fairer share of quality time with your son).