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parental alienation

  • stresseduk
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07 Jun 12 #335473 by stresseduk
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My son who is 10 is being spoilt by his father, to bribe him into saying he wants to live with him. This is impossible due to his work commitments. the x is doing it to force me out the house. we have two other sons 16 and 20,who he doesn,t bother with. When my youngest stays with us i have no control over him.last night he returned back to his father as i would not let him stay up to play on xbox when i was going to bed. all i got was dad will let me. it is cruel what that man is turning him into.so hurt that my son is being abused in this way. why do these fathers do this.Sorry but crying and needed to rant:(

  • sexysadie
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07 Jun 12 #335479 by sexysadie
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He''s ten. Why did you let him go back? I would understand the problems with a large fourteen year old but you certainly don''t have to let a ten year old leave the house if it is bedtime.

I understand that you are frightened that your ex will take your son from you, but if it''s really impossible due to his work then he can''t do it. You need to show your son who is in charge here. With an older one I would negotiate, but he needs to understand that you can only negotiate up to a point at his age and that when mum says turn off the xbox and go to bed that is what has to happen.

Best wishes,
Sadie

  • Cinnabar123
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23 Jul 12 #344728 by Cinnabar123
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I really sympathise with you - have been going through a very similar thing with my 11 y o girl. Very difficult situation, because they need firm boundaries, but you may feel if you are firm, your child might even refuse to see you next time. Stick to your guns, be the firm parent you have always been, tough love if you can handle it. Family Lives are a lifesaver in this situation, I really recommend you give them a call. 0808 800 2222. Good luck, and please keep posting. Thinking of you!

  • redwine47
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23 Jul 12 #344730 by redwine47
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I agree with the others.. try to keep these boundaries in place as you would have done previously before split . It can be very confusing for a child of this age!

Children may not show it but need this security & you can give them this.

I have friends whose children went off to live with OH as they cld do what the wished..... It Was not long before they returned to mum & routine & normality.

Best wishes

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23 Jul 12 #344732 by redwine47
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I agree with the others.. try to keep these boundaries in place as you would have done previously before split . It can be very confusing for a child of this age!

Children may not show it but need this security & you can give them this.

I have friends whose children went off to live with OH as they cld do what the wished..... It Was not long before they returned to mum & routine & normality.

Best wishes

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