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daughter 18yrs dont want to go to school

  • delta123
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15 Oct 12 #361108 by delta123
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i am in a big mess my 18 yr daughter has been having difficulty recently but she wont acknowledge it. she has been asking for money even to the extent of faking a letter from school demanding payment for trips that she was not involved in l wrote a check and she pretended it was lost and asked for me to transfer money into her account instead. today the school rang and have confirmed that my daughter is not on any school trip at all and the money i paid was not asked by anyone. i am angry l am disappointed l dont know what to do with her when l confronted her about all this she just started crying and said she does not want to go to school anymore. what can l do is there any counseling that can help change the situation anybody please thanks for reading though

  • AlannasAdventure
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18 Oct 12 #361562 by AlannasAdventure
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I would suggest counselling is a good idea if she agrees to it. It sounds like she is going through something that she feels she cannot share atleast at the moment. Maybe someone independant like a counsellor could help her.

Otherwise is there someone you know who she would feel comfortable talking to about it?

  • sulkypants
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18 Oct 12 #361568 by sulkypants
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Dont let her throw a smoke screen uo to the first matter is not looked into the lying and stealing have got to be looked into.
Now no doubt you feel terrible and this issue is not being looked at rather the rather dramatic crying and I dont want to go to school have become the issue.

That does not excuse her lying and stealing.

Most schools have Councilors available or Education Welfare Officers and she propably feels under a great deal of pressure preparing for her exams.

Remember Smoke Screen deal with the theft and the lying do not feel sorry for her for tuning on the waterworks and manipulating you.

I fostered over 100 teenagers for Surrey CC and can tell you from experience that she needs to accept she is responsible for her own actions which have been pretty shameful.

  • Crumpled
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19 Oct 12 #361922 by Crumpled
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hi i would be asking yourself why she needs this money ..is your daughter distressed in any way.I only ask because my own wonderful 18 year old daughter suffered a terrible trauma ( we have a very close relationship)and she couldnt bring herself to confide in me for 5months and she suffered on her own,,,,,,i certainly would not accuse her of stealing or anything like that that will just alienate her..........is she being bullied as she doesnt want to go to school....i think the needing money is a massive symptom of something bigger going on..........

  • loveourmum
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20 Oct 12 #361935 by loveourmum
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With all due respect I do not know your background however I would,as a baseline, sit daughter down and ask her, in the kindest possible way, what is troubling her.

Daughters have an inbuilt of sense protecting their mothers.

Have a heart to heart talk with no barriers - let her let go of emotions, reasons and purpose with no conflict in return and you may just find out why!

Best wishes


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