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dealing with ex partner

  • meridith
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31 Aug 13 #405995 by meridith
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Hi I am just looking for any advice? Whilst driving my daughter who idioluses her father wascdiscussing with me how great her father was and I responded without thinking " that he wasn''t that great as he kicked us out of his house" which I agree was not appropriate and I said without thinking however my daughter informed her father of what I said which happened 2 years ago he has since text me everyday with abusive texts wanting to know why I said this and if I don''t tellbhim he is going to a solicter ?? Dies anyone have any thoughts on how to deal with this situation??

  • MrsMathsisfun
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01 Sep 13 #406011 by MrsMathsisfun
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I would send him an apology saying it was inappropriate to discuss things with daughter and don''t respond to anything else.

We all say things we shouldn''t sometimes just because its the truth doesnt make it appropriate.

  • aplacetogo
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01 Sep 13 #406021 by aplacetogo
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It may have been inappropriate for you to make a comment to your daughter, but it was that just a comment, was it appropriate therefore for your x to send you abusive texts. We all say things that in the unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in.
I do not think there is anything a solicitor can do around a comment you may have made. The solicitor will probably say something like.
"Thank you Mr X there is nothing I can do, here is the bill for this consultation".

  • MrsMathsisfun
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01 Sep 13 #406023 by MrsMathsisfun
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Whilst agreeing the ex''s response was inappropriate, two wrongs don''t make a right, all the op can do is apologise for her part. Sometimes being the bigger person is the best thing in these situations.

  • Shezi
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01 Sep 13 #406032 by Shezi
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I agree that no law has been broken so there is no litigation for a solicitor to represent. However, that would be by the way for me - what you and your ex think about each other is for you. If there is to be an apology, I would think it would be from you to daughter. It''s not a great move forward to be so candid with her about dad.

Having said that - an apology is something that can either be sincere and so articulated or it can be strategic. You seem to have stirred up something of a hornet''s nest with ex. A strategic apology might be effective in subsiding his ''abusive demands'', but that would be your call.

Incidentally, is he angry because you said it? Or because you said it to his daughter? Is it true? I''m wondering why he would be so angry if he actually did this, unless it''s just the element of telling daughter he''s angry with.

Shezi

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01 Sep 13 #406033 by MrsMathsisfun
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Oh yes definitely a strategic apology. You not saying sorry for what you said rather who you said it to!

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01 Sep 13 #406034 by Torpid
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I don''t know how old your daughter is, but I think there has to come a time when you are candid with children. My 16 year old daughter spends most of her time with me and every time she comes from her mother''s tells me of my latest failing in mother''s eyes. I don''t send her mother abusive texts or mails, but I''m sure I would be more irritated by an insincere apology! Probably better to leave it as more dust in the wind, whatever you do will not come across as you intend. You can probably be sure that he will also have said things that may or may not be appropriate - we all do.

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