Hi all,
I''m just getting to the point where my solicitor is going to file papers, and on telling my wife, she''s started battening down hatches, despite me going to every end I can to be friendly and civil.
I also recently suggested that I could do with some time by myself, I work mon-fri and then have the kids weds night, and then Friday night to Sunday night every single week. Which is generally great by me, but I need to have some daytime time to myself. My wife, who I pay for completely (save for child benefit she also gets) and doesn''t work, has had more days to herself in the summer holidays than I will have all year... If I ask to have a weekend to myself I''m lambasted as a bad father, putting myself in front of them.
So, these two things have combined into her "offering" to let me only have them every other weekend, and not during the week at all. Tonight is the first mid week I''ve not had them in 18 months save for maybe 2 "selfish" changes to the schedule.
I''m not about to agree to only have them 3 nights in 14, but the biggest part, what I''m really asking about is that she wants this arrangement to be UTTERLY immovable. That unless one of us it literally puking everywhere, or something like that, will will exchange kids to the minute and never ever ever deviate. I''ve a feeling that she is suggesting I drop the kids at school on a monday morning purely to disrupt my well paid career as an IT contractor, which could otherwise leave me needing to leave for work at 6am to stay away for the week etc.
This just seems INSANE to me. She''s a very controlling person and when she feels like she''s in a corner she comes out fighting so fiercely.
She maintains that it''s a dreadful and unacceptable upheaval in their life if it just so happens that we swap weekends a couple of times a year etc. But whilst of course the kids need to understand how their life works, and it''s predictable and reliable to a given extent, they go on holidays, they go stay with grandparents... their life changes already.
Obviously it''s possible to abuse flexibility and be pretty shitty, but I''m not looking for anything earth shaking. So far this entire year she''s had the kids for 2 weekends, and in October there will be 2 more. This is apparently unacceptable to her.
If anyone has any thoughts on what is or isn''t appropriate in terms of flexibility in an arrangement I''d be really glad to hear from you. ta