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Help! My ex- will not return kids

  • geecee42
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05 Sep 13 #406313 by geecee42
Topic started by geecee42
Hi-
a brief synopsis, i am 42 yo man who has a resedence order for my 3 kids. granted in march 2013, my ex has contact with kids from sun 12-00 till wed at 4-00.

End june 2013- kids went with mum, all happy. Mum was upset as i was wanting to change schools as , closer one to my home. Gets phone call monday of childrens services, daughter claiming i had smacked her causing bruise in ear.. ALL LIES...section 47 intailed, outcome no proof, i had done such act. time taking 8 weeks.. then still no contact i had with kids.. as ex- kept on not attending meetings, so dragging on and on...i admitted i do chastise my kids, so did course with CAPPS, everything fine.. then kids went on child protection plan, due to emotional abuse, of mother, and us not getting on.. 10 weeks, still no kids, week 11 core group, with social worker, mum DNA, outcome, children come back home to dads, and adhere to resedence order. Mum would not listen to S Worker, put phone down on her, i rang POLICE, Nothing they could do , civil matter. Mum supposed to have child in need visit, cancalled.. you see the pattern now.
Went for advice told to apply for N78 breaking of resedence order, did, also put in c79 and c100, in court next thursday at 12-30..
Also found out that mum not been to 4 appoitments at hospital with youngest, NEGLECT?

Social services and CAPPS worker fully support me, mum does not engage with them..

Mum has had another son now 23 whoms dad had resedence order of...mum been in prison, numerous times, myself no criminal record.

mum rings up police and social services, they now screen her calls, with lies and accusations all time.. had to get psychiatric evaluation done last time in court, mum smokes canabis, had drug tests done last time, valium in system for 4 months. whilst pregnant..

What will happen when i go to court as can not afford solicitor, all benefits stopped as mum rang them up saying kids in local care. so suspended my benefits for 4 weeks.

WHAT WILL JUDGE DO IN CASE AS SAME JUDGE AS LAST TIME!¬ CAN SHE BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR BREAKING RESEDENCE ORDER? CAN SHE TRY AND GET ORDER REVOKED, AS I THINK SHE IS TRYING TO DO SO? AND LASTLY CAN I HAVE CONTACT STOPPED WITH MUM ON GROUNDS OF SHE WILL NOT BRING KIDS BACK AT TIME. AND ALSO THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE, AND NOT GOING TO APPOITMENTS? THANKS GEE

  • butterfly crossing
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05 Sep 13 #406403 by butterfly crossing
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Oh my, you do seem to be having a time of it, unfortunately I am unable to advise you, but hopefully a wise wiki will be able to help.

Make sure you take all the proof you can get with you to court, including all the evidence and logs from other involved agencies and make sure you have a copy for yourself, the other side, and the judge.

Give it to the usher before you go in to the court for them to give to the Judge.

Good luck in court.

  • u6c00
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05 Sep 13 #406407 by u6c00
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It sounds like an awful situation.

When is your hearing and how long are you listed for? Have you prepared a position statement, or been ordered to provide a full statement? A short statement would be really helpful in setting out the problems and making your case to the judge.

It may be that the social services reports are enough, but a child-focused statement could be a help too.

From the sounds of it you ought to be asking for an interim residence order with powers of arrest attached if mother doesn''t comply.

Perhaps you could consider asking for your ex''s contact to be supervised for a period of time rather than no contact at all. On the other hand perhaps no contact for a period of time for the children to readjust to being in your care might be sensible. I take it that CAFCASS aren''t involved?

There are criminal penalties for breaking orders (fines, prison, community service) but they are used quite rarely. You have to consider whether you would really want them used - your children would undoubtedly be told ''daddy sent me to prison'' or similar. Your children love their mother, and this kind of thing could cause them to suffer more emotional harm than they have already.

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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05 Sep 13 #406408 by NoWhereToTurnl
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This is one of the most heartbreaking posts I have read on wiki, you have looked after your children and have their best interests foremost.

As above by other posters, I would write a statement of issues, do a chronology of events and ask that, realizing contact with the biological mother is important, it takes place in a supervised contact center.

I wish you all the best for a good outcome.

NWTT.

  • geecee42
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06 Sep 13 #406486 by geecee42
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Thanks for all advice:

I have put together a brief synopsis for the judge and a position statement as suggested; the case is listed for Directions on thursday at 12-30:

My ex to my suprise and amazement has filed a form for full resedince and another for domestic abuse! Even though these allegations were unfounded as lies! She claims to have a solicitor, however the form looks like her handwriting, and lots of mistakes, she has put on the form she has a restraining order on me, which is false, clearly no solicitor would advise their client to lie on a offical doccument? Clearly no solicitor would tell their client not to return kids when their is a order of residence in place?

I have the full backing of children services and my ex has not, her allegations and stories should be on AESOPS FABLES, i no the judge is the same, whom told her she had no chance last time of a resedince order, now i hope he sees, history repeating itself, she is clearly unfit, and emotionally unwell.

i will inform you of the desicion of the district judge and once again thanks for your support
Gee

  • CakesandFlowers
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06 Sep 13 #406488 by CakesandFlowers
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Sending you the best of luck.

  • hawaythelads
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06 Sep 13 #406493 by hawaythelads
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If the roles were reversed and youd been a nutter father causing all this grief the rossers would have banged you up and returned the kids immediately.
Proof of how fecking sexists uk family law is to even entertain this nutter woman.
All the best
Hrh x

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