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Childrens custody

  • Lonely37
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11 Feb 14 #421969 by Lonely37
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Me n my wife seperated 5 month ago due to my "unreasonable behaviour" which was a lie. After 2 weeks she got non mol for a year. ( now I know why ) All these time I''m waiting in patience, thinking she ll realise we r good together I discover things like she was cheating on me while together, she has different man on the go last 5 months and bringing them to matrimonial home while my 6 and 3 year old girls sleeping upstairs. Gets drunk on weekends and can''t even get up to look after my girls as 3 year old is a bad sleeper. Her 6 year old has to put her back to sleep. She puts a gate in front of her bedroom so kids don''t come in. I have lots of evidence to support all these. I don''t want her no more but want my girls. Do I have a chance to get the custody?

  • Jacko.
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23 Feb 14 #423453 by Jacko.
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I know this isn’t what you want to hear but what she does with her life is her business and as long as the children aren’t in any kind of danger regardless of what you think of her moral behaviour you will get no support from Social Services. Like me you have found out when an X wants out she will get out ! and fairness doesn''t come into it !! Yes it rather grates on me when the term "unreasonable behaviour" is leveled at you personally !! especially when in actual fact your not being unreasonable other than breathing the same air as the person who is saying this about you !

I was contacted by Social Services back in 2008 asking if I could go and collect my 3 sons otherwise they were going to be placed in care. This was after my X had taken an overdose of prescription drugs of antidepressants and sleeping tablets drunk 2 bottles of wine smashed them and then walked through the broken glass and covered the floors in the FHM with blood ! when Social Services got to the FHM after being contacted by the boys school, they arrived to find the guy she was cohabiting trying to clear up the mess. He wasn’t the first bloke she had living there either ! Fortunately the boys didn’t see all this as I drove the 250 miles from the Midlands to the Westcountry and collected them from friends where Social Services had arranged for them to go to straight after school until I could pick them up.
This wasn’t the 1st or last time she had self harmed. My sons spent 2 years living with me whilst I pursued a Residency Application through the Family Courts just for some old fart of a judge to return them to the care of their Mum !!!! For reasons best known to himself he felt it was better they live with the parent with a long history of mental health issues !!
In the summer of 2012 again Social Services I was contacted and asked to care for my sons again after the X had been found by my eldest son unconscious and been admitted to hospital as what was described a comma like state ? My sons then stayed with me for 3 weeks. Social Services said that I had good cause to make another Residency Application . I said okay I will if you support my application this time ? Guess what surprise surprise Social Services then didn’t want to know!

Believe me I know how much it hurts to see your children being brought up in an environment that is not what you would wish for them. But I don’t think all the extra hurt it cost me and my children going to court was worth it !! I’d gladly spend another £10,000 in court proceedings but not if it means I’d be throwing my money away again !!!

  • NL_sadincheshire
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23 Feb 14 #423490 by NL_sadincheshire
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lonely37 and jacko

i simply can''t tell you enough how much i feel for you! Jacko it is despicable how little support you are getting in your case... i can only hope it is an isolated case (not that this would be much comfort to you) but at least this could mean that there may yet be light at the end of the tunel for lonely37

my only piece of advise lonely37 is that you keep a detailed diary of events and anything your little ones tell you, tape record on your phone. Everything you do with/for them, keep the receipts.. the more the case of how you try your best and how she doesn''t (the @@@@) that you can document, the better for you and your two girls

good luck! these women make me ashamed to be one

  • hawaythelads
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23 Feb 14 #423530 by hawaythelads
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You,ve got more chance of seeing God than getting custody of a 6 and 3 year old kid over the mother.
Them kids are her meal ticket.
A 6 year old ain''t gonna tell a court against her mother.
It''ll be painted you''re twisting the kids against her.
Having blokes around the house sleeping with her ain''t considered bad anyway.
Drinking she''ll just deny it as well.
Women can do whatever the feck they want. There''s never any consequence against them except for in the most extreme circumstances.
Even then as the previous poster has demonstrated that''s not definnate the English courts will still rule in the mothers favour.
All the best
HRH x

  • CakesandFlowers
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23 Feb 14 #423602 by CakesandFlowers
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Lonely37 wrote:

Me n my wife seperated 5 month ago due to my "unreasonable behaviour" which was a lie. After 2 weeks she got non mol for a year. ( now I know why ) All these time I''m waiting in patience, thinking she ll realise we r good together I discover things like she was cheating on me while together, she has different man on the go last 5 months and bringing them to matrimonial home while my 6 and 3 year old girls sleeping upstairs. Gets drunk on weekends and can''t even get up to look after my girls as 3 year old is a bad sleeper. Her 6 year old has to put her back to sleep. She puts a gate in front of her bedroom so kids don''t come in. I have lots of evidence to support all these. I don''t want her no more but want my girls. Do I have a chance to get the custody?


Hi there

I really do feel for you.

Do you have access to your children? If so is it regular? How do you know these things are happening? Is it through your children?

A lot of questions I know, but it will help with wise wikis trying to answer your question.

  • Lonely37
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23 Feb 14 #423609 by Lonely37
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Hi
Thank you for all of you for sharing your thoughts and perspectives. I have spoken to a solicitor and she has confirmed that I have no chance of getting my girls. Can someone tell me how this is fair? We are talking about UK where people are all "EQUALS AND HAVE SAME RIGHTS ". If anything by government giving her all the benefits under the sun and standing behind her why would she consider being with a person who she use to say '' I love you to die '' but wants him out now because of his " unreasonable behaviour ". Of course I wouldn''t let my girls go without or need anything, but that''s just wrong type of encouragement from government and I''m sorry to say this but that''s why divorce rate is so high here and women have more power.
How do I know my wife was cheating or bringing men to house or getting drunk ????
Her being drunk, going home late, comments are all over Facebook with no shame. A Saturday night, she is out, at a party, drunk and leaves at 2:30 home and she can''t even remember that coz it was on Facebook on Sunday lunch time while I was with my girls. Every Sunday I''m with my babies 11-6. My eldest tells me, she is tired and wants to sleep at 3pm and believe me she never sleeps during the day. When I asked her what was wrong, she said she had to wake up at 4 am because my little one woke up crying n wouldn''t go back to sleep( they sleep in same room )They tried to go in mums room but coz she has a safety gate !!! On her room they couldn''t get in and she wouldn''t hear their calling but finally my girls gone back to sleep around 6 together. Later that evening, I texted her in the politest way to say'' I know you are a great ! Mum ,have too much on your plate and of course you deserve a social life but can you please be more careful''. She hadn''t denied it but said she didn''t wanna be woken up by girls middle of night so she has put a gate, what kind of a mother does that !!! Got all these on texts.
A good friend of ours, after our separation, took all on board believing everything she said. One night I was pining for my family and received a text from her saying; I really would like to apologise from deep in my heart for judging and believing everything your wife told me and all of us around here. I was looking after your girls last night while she went out for a meal somewhere. While I was getting a cup out from the cupboard this book fell open. I never would do such a thing but the page that was open I just had a glimpse and couldn''t believe what I read, clearly it was her diary''
Anyway long story short, it was a diary my wife had for about a year and I have never had the intention or the urge to read it. Why would I? This was the love of my life, my girls mother. If I can''t trust her who can I? She has sent me pictures of the pages that proved and showed she''s been cheating.... etc.
My friend had no intentions of mudding her name but thought I deserved to know the truth after all that happened.
Now my question is, how is this fair??????

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