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Mediation: Disputes over travelling/cost of petrol

  • Emlmcb
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6 years 6 months ago #424339 by Emlmcb
I have been asked by my ex-husband to participate in Mediation over a few issues with regards to access.

Firstly, I have never denied access to him to see our son. All dates of visits are currently few and far between but I am always agreeable - even when given short notice. He would usually pick our son up from our home and take him to his mothers who lives only 60 miles from my home. My partner works and resides 200 miles away and this arrangement never posed a problem until recently.

My ex-husband has now moved in with his partner (adding a further 50 miles away) and expressed a wish that our son now travels to spend time with him in his new home. This only present one issue in my eyes... The journey! The journey in a car takes six hours to get there as it is over 200 miles away. He wishes to have him "more regularly" and requests a once a month visit. My son is lucky if he sees his father once in three months so am doubtful my ex-husband would maintain this. However, giving him the benefit of the doubt for now, my ex-husband also proposed to split the journey and meet at a halfway point. I do not drive - holding a provisional licence. To undertake half this journey I would have to take the train. This would mean a 30 minute walk to the train station (just for starters) and then to be on a train for up to 4 hours and then 3 further hours in a car - that''s just one way! I would have to travel back on the train the same day alone and repeat the journey a day later!

I do not know how to propose a compromise! Any advice would be appreciated.

The only suggestion I feel I can put forward is that this shared journey is done within school holidays. I would be a lot more willing as this would mean my ex-husband and son would have an extended amount of time together rather than a day and a bit. To do this once a month while my son is at preschool full time is just not feasible! He finishes late on Friday and to do this over one weekend for him to be in attendance at preschool on the Monday is unfair on my son.

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  • Fiona
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6 years 6 months ago #424340 by Fiona
I think you are on the right track. What about proposing extended visits every six weeks during school holidays and half terms to be reviewed after 6 months?

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6 years 6 months ago #424343 by Emlmcb
That sounds fine to me. Hopefully ex husband agrees!

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