My marriage appears to be coming to an end. I am married to a non EU citizen who is here in the UK on a spouse visa because of our marriage. The marriage was legit, this was not a ruse for her to get into the UK. She had already been here working before we met.
Recently things have got very bad, she has become very angry, abusive and on occasions violent. I have recorded a few of her angry rants and screaming fits without her knowing.
She said to me yesterday that when she gets her indefinite leave to remain then she will divorce me and take my daughter. Our daughter is 2 years old. I am tempted to try to get her to repeat this so that I can record her saying it.
If it was not for our daughter and the chance I might lose her then I would file for divorce today. What I want to know is that if I did file for divorce and could present that my wife is unstable and has very bad anger management issues then what would be the chances of my gaining full custody? I understand she would be able to apply for a new visa as family member of a settled UK person.
Desperate for information before I make the wrong move.
With the mental health issues you describe, I think it is very likely that the custody will be awarded to you, especially in the light that she works full-time, including night shifts. However, she may be given generous visitation (two or three times a week).
As your daughter is two, she can get her leave to remain right now on the retained rights basis. My wife is also non EU and that is what she is going for.
Is your daughter British? Make sure YOU, not your wife, have your daughter''s passport.
Right, this post is making me feel VERY uncomfortable. You have absolutely no right to label someone as ''unstable'' or mentally ill just because she has an issue with YOU. Has she been diagnosed as such by a medical professional? I''m guessing not if she works within the NHS and I''m guessing is possibly a nurse.
Just because she is angry with you and has issued threats in the heat of the moment does not make her a bad mother. Do you have any cause to think she may harm or neglect your child? If not it would be very unlikely indeed a court would award residence to you unless they truly believed the child to be at risk of harm.
If you carry on with this you have every chance of damaging your child yourself. What you should be doing is trying to come to some amicable way of separating with as little pain and disruption to your child as possible and co parenting in the best way possible not playing tug of war with an innocent child.
It is easy to start slinging mud but as the mother of a 12 year old who''s ex tried to do exactly the same thing with nothing except personal opinion about me as ''evidence'' I can''t even tell you how damaging it is to all concerned. If you have genuine concerns then that is a different matter and you have the right to do something about it.
I am certainly not condoning your wife''s behaviour towards you (abuse and violence is ALWAYS wrong) but please don''t confuse that with being a bad mother.
When you said she will take your daughter did you mean back to the Philippines or just in the UK? I know you were talking more about the UK, with saying she would do it after she gets her ILR, but if you''re worried about abduction in the future contact Reunite International for advice on preventing this, I had this concern myself because I have a son with a Moroccan national.
I dunno about the Philippines but having a British passport doesn''t protect my son, the Moroccan embassy can issue a Moroccan one for him with out my knowledge or consent which I think is dreadful but there you go. Just something to be aware of later down the line that''s all