hi all, im not married or have been divored but i thought this type of forum would cater for similar advice!
Well to start, last friday my ex asked if it was "ok" to stay down in far end of england(330 miles away from where i live in scotland) for an extra few days with her current bf, which overlapped my every week friday-sunday time with my 2 year old son. Ofc i agreed but voiced i was unhappy about it, then thought no more of it. Today i get a letter through my door from a solicitor in london saying she has chosen to live permaenantly in london, and will make "reasonable efforts" to facilitate contact between me and my son.
i can't say how sickened i am, i thought we got on well. I can't beleive how she could take our son away from his family up here to live with a man who is currently going through a divorce, has two kids of his own, and she has only met for 4 days per month(roughly).
She isn't the most stable person i know, and from this behaviour, i cant say shes the best mother, imo every child needs its family and father. I love my son more than anything in the world and will do everything for him.
What i would like to know is if theres any laws against taking my son from scotland to england or over 300 miles? i've heard there is some small niggling differences in the laws this way, but no concrete quotes.
I paid her money monthly for him and have looked after him at least 2-4 whole days every week and i am on the birth certificate. Way i see it, i can apply for full custody and hope for the best but i dont want my son going through court.....but i wont allow this insane choice she made make me lose my son. we spoke breifly on the phone and theres no way i'll get too see him any time soon, she also wont give me the address or hoem phone number where her bf lives.
Anyone who would take away a 2 year old that far from all his family and father, for their own selfish purposes and not the childs, deserves to be taken to court for full custody.....or? for one i sure as hell will never forgive till her last breath.
Any scot/english law help for my problem, i deeply appreciate.
I really feel for you and I am sorry to hear of your plight - it seems it is very often the case this way round (mother has the children) but I have had a similar experience except I am the mother and I was married to the father, - he also took our two children to the other end of the country 300 miles away from the family home, plus the childen were older (11 and nearly 9) so they had a say in where and whom they wanted to live with - result - they were aplit up - the court was ok with this!
If you are married either parent can take the children where they want (in the UK but not abroad) - neither parent is considered to be "kidnapping" their own children.
As I understand it, when the parents are not married the mother has automatic full custody - HOWEVER this may have changed and also you are on the birth certificate. Because your son is so young it will be between you two as the adults - you could put an application in for custody (Form C1 in England) but I am not sure about Scottish law at all.
I am sorry I cannot be more positive - this is a dreadful situation created solely by your ex girlfriend and as you quite rightly say, a selfish decision without much thought for your son as he grows up.
Stay on this site I am sure you will get more concrete help from others.
Statute laws says no one shall remove a child habitually resident in Scotland from outwith, the UK without the consent of a those with Parental Rights and Responsibilities. However, someone who has PPR has the right to have the child live with them or contact and she would need consent to move. You need to see a Scottish solicitor urgently with a view to getting PPR, having the child returned and avoiding a battle of jurisdiction. See RAB v MIB ;