Ok I left My husband after 20 yrs as I longer loved him due to his controlling ways.I have 2 teenagers who still live at the family home as he would not move out.I rent privately.He wants to hurry up and get me out of his life as he met someone very soon after I left He earns nearly 3 times what I do,has final salary pension and other assets.I have a car and that''s about it.As its coming to financial discussions,he wants me to take 50% of value of house(he wants to remortgage) and that''s all.He feels as I left him and he was main financial provider(I worked part time as well as bringing up kids for 17 yrs)that I should be entitled to nothing else as I have ruined his life and he put all the money in!! I am emotionally drained by the constant texts demanding i agree to this amount.He''s also divorcing me on my unreasonable behaviour-me leaving being one of the reasons. Do I stick it out or just take what he''s offering?
Oh dear sounds a bit like my x,controling. My x did spreadsheets for us all eg 6.50 snooze,7.05 get up, 7.15 shower get ready,8.00 me cup of tea, him coffee, 8.15 clean teeth. He covered the whole day with these rules.i really don,t know how i put up with it.I,m going through a similar thing. can,t give advice but keep strong and hopefully someone will give you good advice.
The reason for the divorce has nothing to do with financial settlements. The needs of both of you need to be taken into account, as well as the needs of the children. Your contribution to bringing up the children, thus denying you a well paid career is also a factor.
I am sure there are people on here that could give you advice if you can supply more information. Have a look at The Matrimonial Clauses Act 1973 for a start (and maybe give your husband a copy). Keep in mind that it is not for him to decide what you get and it needs to be worked out fairly so that you can each be housed appropriately. Is the house too big for his requirements? Could you buy a property/raise a mortgage with 50% of the equity of the house?
Pensions, investments, debts and future earning potential all need to be looked at. A good Mediator would help you to sort through all of this and would be much cheaper than the Court route.
I persisted in repeating to my STBX how things are worked out and it eventually sank in (or at least he realised I wasn''t going to give in without a fight!)
Another thing I found useful was to do a monthly expense schedule (get him to do one too) so that you can see what money you need to survive.
Good luck and hopefully an expert will be along soon.
I wouldn''t worry about him divorcing you - it makes no difference to the finances and no-one but yourselves, the solicitors and the judge will see what reasons he uses. I know if must feel hurtful though. Keep an eye on who he expects to pay the cost for the actual divorce petition. I agreed 50/50 with my STBX (I am divorcing him for UB).