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So Confused

  • inamuddle
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18 Sep 12 #356465 by inamuddle
Topic started by inamuddle
Hi All - My first post..wondering if anyone has any ideas on what i cant exspect out of divorce
History - Ex came to me with nothing - i had a business and 2 houses - i financed a new family business that he ran, i stayed at home and looked after our 3 children...Business was a huge success we had a lavish lifestyle - i sold my houses and put down £25,000 deposit on what is now the family home the new business paid the morg 20 years down the line he has traded me in for a younger model so i am divorcing him for adultery
Everything is in his name - House, Business..all the money i had has been spent over the years doing up the family home...So in a nut shell i was a fool and let everything be in his name even though i financially founded everything
So now he just pays me a small amount each month and has walzed off with our lavish lifestyle to live his new life..My solicitor seems to think i can get the house and maintainance..form E is next step and im told i have to fill it in with my Basic Needs...So will i only get my basic needs met whilst he keeps the profits from our business because its all in his name...Sorry long post..it just all seems so unjust..He has now gone No Contact only through solicitors so i am running up huge legal bills..its been granted he will have to pay divorce but im told finances is a separate issue..crazy as i wouldnt need to be sorting out finances if i wasnt divorcing him for adultery

  • Crumpled
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18 Sep 12 #356468 by Crumpled
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HI first of all I am so sorry that you have had to post on here at all but you have come to the right place to get lots of help and support as a lot of us are and have been where you are now.
My stbx is also self employed with a good income and has traded me in for several younger models as well....
My solicitor has asked me to complete the finance form based on my needs...from what I understand (but more knowledgeable wikis may guide you better than me)I fill it in based on what I need not an extravagant wish list but what I need to sustain my life and that of my childrens at the moment and based on the lifestyle we enjoy now ie if you are used to frequent trips to the theatre etc etc include that on the form.
The way I look at it is I am being fair but starting off from the lifestyle we have now and bargaining down if necessary if that makes sense.......
good luck with everything........L

  • sexysadie
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18 Sep 12 #356474 by sexysadie
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That''s right. You shouldn''t be wildly extravagant, but if your lifestyle has included certain things, you put them in. If you have been used to spending a certain amount on food, put that in, don''t cut yourself back to a minimal amount. So, for example, I put in holidays abroad and trips to the theatre with the children, as well as expensive music tuition, as that was something we had already been doing. If the children are at private schools you should also include school fees if the children are going to be living with you.

The way divorce finances work is that both of you are seen as having contributed to what you have - your contribution comes from your initial investment and your care for the children and household. You should be entitled to at least 50% of the total pot, probably more as your earning potential is now presumably much less than his.

Best wishes,

  • inamuddle
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18 Sep 12 #356567 by inamuddle
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Thank You for your replies - just been to see solicitor my orignal one is back and she has agreed to do my Form E Free of Charge and not charge me for todays meeting after i told her how the last one told me to fill out the form with just my basic needs and not how my lifestyle was..Thank You once again

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