Advice please

We married in 1991, separated in 2003, we applied for our divorce nisi which was also granted in 2003 - fast forward 18 years and only now we are applying for financial settlement and Decree Absolute!!!!!!! - the ex refused to play ball throughout and I didn't have the energy to fight back then
Now we are on speaking terms and both want to get this divorce sorted - I left the property and ran for the hills whilst he still lives in the martial home we bought together in 1992 - yes I paid the mortgage/bills etc but all that stopped in 2003
I don't know if I am correct but I want our financial settlement to be based on our marriage term 1991-2003 when I left - we have no children and our only asset at this time was the house
Currently there is £350,000 equity on it now, (no mortgage) but using a website - I calculated that the property had an equity of £200,000 in 2003 with only (£40,000 mortgage) I understand that this figure can be misleading- however my ex is refusing to understand that I'm entitled to anything- however he is offering me £25,000 to disappear and get the divorce done including the FS - I don't want to spend money on expensive solicitors arguing with him after all this time - but I'm within my rights to get what I believe is fair - how would solicitors/courts see this scenario - also we cannot use mediators as there was DV

If you are now on speaking terms and both want to get it sorted then why can’t you use mediation?

Why does your ex believe you are only entitled to £25k? That seems ridiculous if there was £200k equity in 2003.

What other assets are there? Pensions?

Is the property in joint names?
Do either of you own other properties?
How have you been housed?

If you have not been able to invest in another property that would be a consideration.

You could sever the joint tenancy in the first instance. This can be done unilaterally. It would mean that if one of you died the other would no longer automatically inherit the whole house. This may concentrate his mind towards settlement.

What other assets of the marriage are there?

Hadenoughnow

We can't attend mediation because of previous domestic violence and he threatened to kill me
The house was in both names when we bought it but we bought another holiday home in 1996 and we were advised that we couldn't have two mortgages back then !!!! So I had my name in the holiday house and his on our main home - as we were married - we were advised it didn't matter whose name
The holiday home was repossessed 5 years ago
I rent a property and have done since I left - I had to leave the marriage pronto and move to another part of the UK - I took a massive cut in salary and almost went into hiding - hence it's been 12 years and no Decree Absolute
We both had NHS pensions at the time of the marriage - but I'm not really interested in pursuing pensions/savings etc - I just want what's fair - he believes I should have nothing - what I want to know is - if we do have to go down the legal road with solicitors ( we both have sought advice but not instructed anyone yet ) will the court look unflavourable on me because it's been 12 years - again neither one has remarried or cohabitating

Ok well if it is in his name only you should register matrimonial home rights and defer the absolute until the finances are sorted.

Did you suffer financial repercussions as a result of the repossession??

If you have had to rent while he has enjoyed ownership by default then it is reasonable that he has has to pay the mortgage and that you have a claim on the property.

If you dont want to instruct a solicitor at this stage, you could consider using our divorce consultant service to help you with the initial stages of sorting out the finances.

A financial claim for property only ends when you have a legally binding financial order (or fall into the remarriage trap). It is as much up to him as you to have sorted the finances. You may need to explain the delay but it does not diminish your claim to a share of the assets of the marriage.

Hadenoughnow