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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Both retired, pension split and inherited assets

  • needtomoveon
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05 Jan 22 #518506 by needtomoveon
Topic started by needtomoveon
HelloTo introduce myself I will be 60 in March at which point I am retiring. My wife is 59 in March and retired at 55.The relationship has gone downhill over the last 12 months with 3 threats of divorce from my wife.Prior to this over the past 12 years there have been umpteen times of the silent treatment which is difficult to deal with as she clams up and has me dangling until she decides to end it.Instead of having a grownup conversation and healthy discussion about issues this is the tactic she uses, usually every 3 months. It's always her way or no way, she is always right and never says sorry.She has mental health issues, being treated for depression and most of the time life is good but when she hits a low, I get the silent treatment which usually ends after a while. Then it will be a volley of abuse, it's always me, my negativity, my lack of enthusiasm etc. Then life will settle down and be good, will tell me she loves me etc, until I tread on the next land mine or fall into a bear trap because I did not do something or until in this case a minor bust up with one of our kids when he would not do what she wanted.I have also supported her through some bad times, suicide bids, breakdowns, she has run away which meant that the police have been out looking for her twice in the last 5 years. Had to also call out the police and mental health teams twice as she has had a breakdown at home.The root cause of this is her childhood, she was abused by her mother, I witnessed one of these when she was 17, I thought it was horrendous and my relationship with her mother was never the same again.Anyway, my wife’s mother has been seriously ill, and her father has needed her care for the past 12 months, this Christmas she has kicked off again and I have spent Xmas virtually alone, gone to our holiday rental alone as she has decided that I am low in her priorities, and she wants to be with her dad. They are 123 miles away, so she has been up and down here every few weeks whilst her mother has been in care and is dying, to assist her father. She has done a good job with him but is doing some things that do not really need doing because she wants to do it. The mother who abused her and she hated is now the subject of attention but it is mainly the effect on her dad that is getting to her.I am now contemplating divorcing her for unreasonable behaviour, for not the first time.She is also financially not responsible with a history of being out of control getting into debt, having a loan to repay etc. Ran up £2500 on a virtual PayPal card and £1500 overdrawn on her current account. We had to clear that from our savings which she has not contributed to.We have been married for 32 years and kids are grown up and gone.Finances are as follows:-Her pension 7k per annum (went at 55 blew the lump sum)My pension will be £38k per annum final salary or a CETV of £1.2M, taking at age 60.House value £525k £6k debtCredit card, my wife’s £4800, now in my name on 0% card as she would never have paid it off in her lifetime.Cash £220kAs she already has a pension and I do not yet it would not be fair to give her 50 % of all of my pension Unless I have 50% of hers to balance up as well ?My pension was being contributed to for 10 years before we married, is that a consideration or is it because we have had a long marriage it would not matter.The £220k Cash savings we have has mostly come from inheritance to me from my family members, last contribution was £30k this year.Is it a 50/50 split on this ?Be interested in your comments on financial settlement for a Clean Break divorce. I still intend to retire and will have no earned income at end of March so will either live off savings until divorce or pension when it comes through and do not intend to work again. Thank you

  • hadenoughnow
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10 Jan 22 - 10 Jan 22 #518548 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
You are probably looking at a straight 50:50 split of capital assets and combined pension pot.
Some or all of the inheritance could be seen as non matrimonial if it has been kept entirely separate from matrimonial funds. It would still be seen as funds you could use to meet housing needs if she requires more than 50% of the capital.

Or maybe you could see if there is an alternative to divorce? It sounds like she has some pretty divided loyalties atm and needs support.

Hadenoughnow
Last edit: 10 Jan 22 by hadenoughnow.

  • needtomoveon
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11 Jan 22 #518552 by needtomoveon
Reply from needtomoveon
Thanks for your reply. Advice by a solicitor suggested it would be a 50 50 split.
If we split that way there is enough in the overall pot to buy a decent property each and have cash left over to top up pensions over the time till our old age pensions kick in if the cash is managed.
My wife actually needs some help which hopefully will get now as she has had another major mental breakdown over the new year period, worst she has had.
I hope she gets the correct treatment and we do not have to resort to divorce which I believe she does not really want and may regret.

  • WYSPECIAL
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12 Jan 22 #518565 by WYSPECIAL
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After 32 years of marriage and children it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to ring fence the early years of your pension.

You mention a holiday rental but not it’s value but the asset values you do mention suggest that a 50:50 split will provide for you both more than adequately.

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13 Jan 22 #518570 by needtomoveon
Reply from needtomoveon
Thanks for the reply, the holiday rental is not owned by us, we rented it for a week , my wife would not go in the end. I went alone as I needed space away from her, had taken an extra week off work for this.
.We do not own any other properties but combined house value £540k and 200k other assets is ample for us both to move on 50 50 in my opinion.

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