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Changing the terms of divorce?

  • glowkeeper
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27 Sep 11 #289630 by glowkeeper
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My divorce was declared Decree Nisi a few months back. The terms of the divorce were agreed fairly amicably.

Since then a few things have happened that make me want to amend some of the terms and add a couple more conditions before the divorce is made Decree Absolute.

Is that possible?

  • rubytuesday
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27 Sep 11 #289632 by rubytuesday
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What would you like to change and why?

I doubt its possible now that the Nisi has been granted.

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27 Sep 11 #289645 by glowkeeper
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The children's mother is Egyptian. We share custody 50/50 (1 week on/1 week off).

We agreed that she could not take the children away for longer than a month without my agreement (I was worried that she might wish to emigrate). She wants to take the children to Egypt for a fortnight's holiday, but I am worried about the Arab Spring and do not want them to go whilst Muburak's trial continues (as I believe the situation is volatile). She is threatening me with court action and saying that she could take them away for a month, without my consent, anyway. It's a horrible situation, so I would like to avoid it in the future and amend the ruling so that agreement must be sought for holidays longer than a week (to match our custody arrangements).

Then without my knowledge she recently took our children to a class during my custody week, only informing me after she had taken them that I needed to pick them up from school a little later. So I would also like to add to our custody arrangements that she cannot do such things - she needs to seek my agreement to take the children during my week....

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27 Sep 11 #289654 by rubytuesday
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You would need to seek a Prohibited Steps Order which is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children.

She can not take the children abroad without your prior permission - as you have Parental Responsibilities, she must gain your consent for such a a trip.

Child contact and residence issues are separate from the divorce petition. Do you have a shared residency order? If not, I would suggest you look into it.

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27 Sep 11 #289659 by glowkeeper
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What's a shared residence order?

Currently we share custody of the children (in fact I have them more often as I also care for them every Friday afternoon). Isn't that 'shared residency' by default?

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27 Sep 11 #289668 by rubytuesday
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Custody is an out-dated term, since replaced with the therm "residency", and access replaced with contact.

A Shared Residence Order means that parents are equal in the eyes of the law, in the eyes of the other parent and in the eyes of the children. It means the children live equally with each parent (though it does not necessarily mean an equal split of time spent with each parent) where the parent with residence is the parent that the child is with at the time.

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27 Sep 11 #289669 by glowkeeper
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I don't just have that by default? That sounds unfair - the children are with me more often than they are with their mum! And what's the consequence of not having that?

How do I go about obtaining such a thing? Do the wikivorce lawyers provide that service?

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